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Black Jesus

A cutaway gag from family guy that is way more funnier if you actually watch the clip
“I rode into town on an ass

Yo mama’s ass!”

-Black Jesus
by MUGlol69 October 10, 2021
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Jesus Loves You

A statement which you respond to by saying "IN THE ASS"! You can also initiate the conversation yourself by telling someone that Jesus loves them. After hesitating a bit, you can add the additional "IN THE ASS" part to the end of your statement.
by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 29, 2023
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Jesus Burrito

1. a theoretical burrito that Jesus Christ makes so hot that even he himself cannot eat it (usually said to be microwaved).
2. any burrito that is so hot that it can't be eaten by a mortal human (although Jesus probably could).
3. A burrito that is so hot it makes you see Jesus.
4. Archaic: A burrito that is so hot that it burns the sin right outta ya.
5. Noun: Another name for the Holy Corpse Parts in Jojo's Bizzare Adventure, Specifically Eyes of Heaven, seeing as they look like burritos in the game
"Oh, we got another Jesus Burrito" - Joel
by Theawsomudkip December 7, 2020
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Jesus

Son of God, loves endlessly, died for our sins. always forgiving.
john 3:16
i’m sorry for being such a jerk.”
“it’s ok, i forgive you and Jesus does too.”
by lovedbytheSonofGod October 1, 2022
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Jesus [Yeshua]

Letter from Pilate to Tiberius Caesar

A young man appeared in Galilee preaching with humble unction, a new law in the Name of the GOD that had sent Him. At first I was apprehensive that His design was to stir up the people against the Romans, but my fears were soon dispelled. Jesus of Nazareth spoke rather as a friend of the Romans than of the Jews. One day I observed in the midst of a group of people a young man who was leaning against a tree, calmly addressing the multitude. I was told it was Jesus. This I could easily have suspected so great was the difference between Him and those who were listening to Him. His GOLDEN COLORED HAIR and beard gave to his appearance a celestial aspect. He appeared to be about 30 years of age. Never have I seen a sweeter or more serene countenance. What a contrast between Him and His bearers with their black beards and tawny complexions! Unwilling to interrupt Him by my presence, I continued my walk but signified to my secretary to join the group and listen. Later, my secretary reported that never had he seen in the works of all the philosophers anything that compared to the teachings of Jesus. He told me that Jesus was neither seditious nor rebellious, so we extended to Him our protection. He was at liberty to act, to speak, to assemble and to address the people. This unlimited freedom provoked the Jews -- not the poor but the rich and powerful.

See Washing Library

Your most obedient servant,
Pontius Pilate
Jesus Yeshua was seated at the right hand of GOD his Father in the begining! As was The Holy Spirit and Wisdom. The FEAR of GOD is the first sign of Wisdom!
by THE-INTELLECTUAL July 13, 2024
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Kung Fu Jesus

Kung Fu Jesus- Christmas from someone that doesn't celebrate. Modern form of xmas which was used by Jewish people that would not verbally proclaim Jesus as the Christ.
Happy Kung Fu Jesus to all my Christian friends.
by MillionDollarLester December 25, 2018
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Jesu

also known "Papi J" this alien being from another universe is usually a very nice person although other people may refer to him as God He isn't although He is a top D.
by thatonerandomguyonurbandict October 22, 2023
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