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Jesus Christ Mohamed

A deliberate conjoining of two religious frontrunners' names in a single curse. Used in the same way as simply "Jesus Christ", usually to denote exasperation or dislike.
"Look man, the queue at the club is f--- long...!"
"Oh, Jesus Christ Mohamed!"
by dsx815 May 31, 2018
mugGet the Jesus Christ Mohamedmug.

Jesus

a carpenter that was praised for some reason from around the 20-30 AD
person 1 "you heard of jesus"
person 2 "the carpenter?"
person 1 "lol wut?"
by I understand logic March 15, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.
What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to perianal abscesses.
Person 1: Are you addicted to perianal abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: Chantel De Jesus: I Tapped You Three Times.
by Maternal-Fetal-Medicine February 12, 2025
mugGet the Chantel De Jesus: I Tapped You Three Times.mug.

maria de jesus

Maria de jesus meaning "Jesus mother" or "mother of Jesus", if you ever meet one she will bring you good luck and fortune, she puts a smile on everyone's face, she is quick to turn heads and to get praised, if you fall in love with one you won't ever stop even if it doesn't work out she will leave an imprint on you forever, she's a kind hearted soul who just wants to be loved deep down inside, don't ever let go of her if you have her because once she's gone she's gone forever.
"maria de jesus has arrived"
"Maria de jesus can you pass that over please?"
by Commonroses August 27, 2022
mugGet the maria de jesusmug.
a term used to describe something shocking, or so dumfounded and stupid.
Staff sergeant: jesus h. christ on a tin fucking crutch!, carl what the fucking hell have you done?!

specialist Carl: exactly what you told me to do sergeant I burn the shitter.

Staff sergeant: jesus christ, carl do as I mean not as I say!!
by Sparttjbkibweq23SsChief June 15, 2017
mugGet the jesus h. christ on a tin fucking crutchmug.

Jesus [Yeshua]

Letter from Pilate to Tiberius Caesar

A young man appeared in Galilee preaching with humble unction, a new law in the Name of the GOD that had sent Him. At first I was apprehensive that His design was to stir up the people against the Romans, but my fears were soon dispelled. Jesus of Nazareth spoke rather as a friend of the Romans than of the Jews. One day I observed in the midst of a group of people a young man who was leaning against a tree, calmly addressing the multitude. I was told it was Jesus. This I could easily have suspected so great was the difference between Him and those who were listening to Him. His GOLDEN COLORED HAIR and beard gave to his appearance a celestial aspect. He appeared to be about 30 years of age. Never have I seen a sweeter or more serene countenance. What a contrast between Him and His bearers with their black beards and tawny complexions! Unwilling to interrupt Him by my presence, I continued my walk but signified to my secretary to join the group and listen. Later, my secretary reported that never had he seen in the works of all the philosophers anything that compared to the teachings of Jesus. He told me that Jesus was neither seditious nor rebellious, so we extended to Him our protection. He was at liberty to act, to speak, to assemble and to address the people. This unlimited freedom provoked the Jews -- not the poor but the rich and powerful.

See Washing Library

Your most obedient servant,
Pontius Pilate
Jesus Yeshua was seated at the right hand of GOD his Father in the begining! As was The Holy Spirit and Wisdom. The FEAR of GOD is the first sign of Wisdom!
by THE-INTELLECTUAL July 13, 2024
mugGet the Jesus [Yeshua]mug.

Jesus Christ

(To the developers: this is part one)

1) First I will prove God exists. For the sake of the argument, I will be using science. According to the principle of the conservation of energy, energy remains constant and cannot be destroyed or created. This means that there is effectively zero chance of the universe existing in the first place because, before the Big Bang, there was nothing. In other words, for the universe to be created, someone must have created the energy possible for its creation. Also, that same someone has to be above physical laws, because as per the principle of conservation of energy, energy can't be created. This means that there has to be a God because the universe started from nothing, when no energy existed and the person who made the universe must also be very powerful, considering he is above the laws that transcend the universe. Also, Mendel's law of inheritance completes my point, as it explains why certain characteristics are passed down from generation to generation. Put simply, the ascendant takes after the descendant. Therefore, if we know there is a creator, then that creator must resemble its creation. Science says the universe is infinite, so the creator must also be infinite. The universe entails terrifying powers like black holes, so the creator must also be all-powerful. With the keywords infinite and all-powerful, we have described God.
Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life
mugGet the Jesus Christmug.

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