Almost choked on my cereal

An expression of utter and devastating surprise, brought about by some very accurate tea spilling.

Oh honey, I almost choked on my cereal, let me tell you ALL ABOUT IT.

by fuckfreud October 12, 2019

Slow cooked Clam chowder

Before heading to the bed for time with your women, you make the conscious decision to take a spoon up with.. proceed with intercourse.. When you slam a fat load deep in to your female friends axe wound, instead of her heading to the bathroom she just falls asleep like in the movies, allowing your semen to really mature in flavour and texture over night. Next morning wake her up with a spoonful of freshly cooked Clam chowder for her to taste, if the flavour is strong and the texture is lumpy jobs a gooden it's time to collect the rest in Tupperware and let your friends and colleagues enjoy some at work. After all, sharing is caring

Tom: what you up to tonight?

James: Think I'm gonna make me some slow cooked Clam chowder!

Tom: ooooo my man ! Make sure you bring some in for the boys tomorow

James: there's gonna be loads to go round mate, I been blue balling for 2 weeks !

Tom: you always know how make it the way I like dude.

by Hornyharts February 1, 2020

couch cooked

When someone takes amphetamines and makes the mistake of sitting down for too long. They have now become one of the couch and there usually is no return.
The feeling is usually rather bliss but also very annoying to the people they were with who did not get stuck and just wanna get down and boogie

Person 1: Oi lets go dance

Couch cooker: Nah man, just another ciggie plus this couch feels good.

Person 1: Bro, get up or you're going to get couch cooked.

by confusedalien August 4, 2020

Man Choked

When your junk gets squeezed by your under-panties.

- why is your hands in your pockets all the time?
-I'm getting man choked, bro

-Are you okay?
-No, my wife got me some man chokers

by The Weirdoes in the corner November 6, 2020

fur choked crack

An ass crack so hairy that it looks like a wookie is trying to force his way out of a jammed doorway.

Dude 1: “That fine ass dark haired Indian chick Nina came over to my place other night. We were about to get it on but when she took her panties off, man that chick had the biggest bush and fur choked crack I’d ever seen!”

Dude 2: “Did you hit it though?”
Dude 1: “Yeah man, I still hit it.”

by D Biggums June 10, 2022

Bug crooked

a type of bug that loves to dance around and be a stupid bug

random kid: BUG CROOKEDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!! Bug crooked: shut the fuck up

by goofydays4ohio January 13, 2023

Chris Cringle Cooked

When you get so fried off the ganja weed that you age 45 years and become the man whom delivers the presents to the children. You grow a beard of kush and fly away off a cloud off cannabis gas.

I got so chris cringle cooked last night that when I woke up, I had a full white beard and had to shave it off!

by Kloppersfloppers April 1, 2019