deaf as a spider

Meaning a person isn't paying attention. Similar to- Blind as a bat.

Gah. You're as deaf as a spider!

by Jman71 September 25, 2011

deaf dragon

When the man cums in the girl's ear and the cum stays there for weeks becoming one with her ears and fertilising with the pinna and becoming a solid block, preventing the ear drums to vibrate.

"She asked me to cum in her ears and now she's a deaf dragon, never again."

by Overhauled_Kai October 1, 2021

tome-deaf

Someone who has read more words than they know how to pronounce.
From Atlantic Monthly Magazine's Word Court column, March 2003.

(Talking about someone who is inebriated)
"She's so inehbryated."
"Hah! You're tome-deaf, it's pronounced 'in-ee-bree-at-ed'."

by Jinerviet December 24, 2008

high-deaf

something so awful like a movie that you need to either be high or deaf to enjoy or sit thru

dude that was a total high-deaf movie

by cheaptrickrick May 16, 2010

double deaf

When a person ejaculates in both of their partner's ears, effectively making them deaf.

Person 1: Are you two really into all of that kinky shirt?
Person 2: Yeah man, she even let me double deaf her last night.

by Monjhall February 1, 2017

decaf

To perform an abortion on a cow.

Gawshdarnit, I had to decaf Bessie cuz Junior forgot to castrate the bull.

by LudwigVan December 19, 2003

It's Rather Hard for a Deaf Woman to Hear an Assassin Coming

A phrase to be implemented, usually from one bloke to another, when a man can overcome the suspect defenses of a witless woman and cajole her into coitus.

Shawn: "Hey man did you make any headway with that Potbelly cashier?"
Slim: "Headway? I totally banged her. It's rather hard for a deaf woman to hear an assassin coming."

by The Original Slim Bavis March 31, 2005