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deposition officer

A person pretending to be a certified shorthand reporter/stenographer/court reporter. They have no education, skills, or abilities to type. They are not qualified to even scope a transcript. They push a button to record what is going on in the room. All attorneys and witnesses think this person is qualified because they pretend to be. They are not qualified to do anything. They cannot read back. They cannot produce a transcript. They cannot type. After the legal proceedings, they outsource the audio tape to India or China and have someone whose second or third language is actually English to transcribe it. However, because they are secretly fooling everyone, they charge the price of an educated, accurate, real shorthand reporter. It is very much questionable whether the transcripts produced are legally certified and can be used to impeach witnesses at trial.
Excuse me, Miss Reporter. I didn’t hear that answer. Can you please read that back?

No, Counsel. I cannot read that back. I am an deposition officer. I can push play on the audio. I have secretly been recording. I’m not actually typing any of this. I’m charging you the same price as though I’m typing, but I’m not. I am merely recording it and making sure the recording is clear so I can send it to someone whose first language is not even English to do the rest for me
by anonymous December 5, 2024
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deposition officer

A person pretending to be a certified shorthand reporter/stenographer/court reporter. They have no education, skills, or abilities to type. They are not qualified to even scope a transcript. They push a button to record what is going on in the room. All attorneys and witnesses think this person is qualified because they pretend to be. They are not qualified to do anything. They cannot read back. They cannot produce a transcript. They cannot type. After the legal proceedings, they outsource the audio tape to India or China and have someone whose second or third language is actually English to transcribe it. However, because they are secretly fooling everyone, they charge the price of an educated, accurate, real shorthand reporter. It is very much questionable whether the transcripts produced are legally certified and can be used to impeach witnesses at trial.
Excuse me, Miss Reporter. I didn’t hear that answer. Can you please read that back?

No, Counsel. I cannot read that back. I am an deposition officer. I can push play on the audio. I have secretly been recording. I’m not actually typing any of this. I’m charging you the same price as though I’m typing, but I’m not. I am merely recording it and making sure the recording is clear so I can send it to someone whose first language is not even English to do the rest for me
by anonymous December 5, 2024
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Related Words
DaPose danos Deposit Daros Dapps dapo Danosaur Daponte Dapslyrics depose

Deposit Return Scheme

The act of shitting into a bottle and returning it to the deposit Return machine for 25c
I just deposit return schemed. It wasn't easy shitting into the neck of a bottle but then I cut in half and then glued back together after I'd defecated
by V falls December 28, 2024
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deposit

slang term used towards someone who has just had a major success
*after Mia has just given a presentation*
Mia: How did I do?
Francine: Girl, you DEPOSITED that!
by Foundingfatherslvr March 31, 2025
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Depose

Hym "Cus I'm pretty sure I'll be immune from the laws. Like 'depose' as in 'removing a king?' Because this isn't like a valiant thing you're doing here. You are being shoved off a ledge by a machine... You have a button that can stop the wall from moving... But I rigged the button the stops the wall to also open the cage... It isn't heroism."
by Hym Iam April 7, 2025
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Deposit sock

Socknised by boys to jizz into
Andrew’s mom found all his deposit socks under his bed
by Hotlunch4u April 15, 2025
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Davos

n. Like ‘Waterloo’, two centuries earlier, ‘Davos’ has become a term synonymous with a total defeat and inglorious surrender.

……………………………………….
Looks like the Supreme Court has dealt that insane clown another Davos.
by gnostic3 January 22, 2026
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