buttered cactus

When a guy is so hairy, his dick grows side-burns. Shaving often leaves stubble behind making it feel like a cactus inside your vagina.

Man, old man Jenkins was rockin a serious buttered cactus last night.
Thing was rough!

by ThiccBoi Jenkins April 22, 2018

cactus catcher

dick catcher
cactus was used in a travis song

she's a cactus catcher!!

by cactuscatcher August 22, 2017

Cactus flaps

Long, thin, flat feet

Did you see that guy stumbling around the store with those cactus flaps? He knocked half the aisle down and didn't even notice.

by Flappyflap October 3, 2020

Soggy Cactus

After sexual intercourse, the penis turns flaccid and is often coated in bodily fluids, looking like a soggy cactus.

"I can't fuck you babe, I've got a a soggy cactus"

by Ceita May 2, 2022

Cactus Head

Someone who is annoying you or is being an idiot.

Originating from the LA punk scene in the late 70's.

"Piss off, cactus head"

by HawkRing May 15, 2016

Horny Cactus

Someone who has intercourse with various people but can’t commit to a relationship for longer than a month.

You’re a horny cactus!

by Clapping Machine February 3, 2018

The Angry Cactus

Forcing sexual intercourse on a porcupine.

"Dan got wrecked trying to pull the angry cactus, it looks like his dick was attacked by a sewing machine."

by Alternative Holes February 22, 2020