Aston’s Biggest

Aston’s biggest is quite literally 3.7 tonnes, they not only suffer from chronic obesity but they also suffer from the addiction to discord. Aston’s Biggest could mistake his own fingers for food, as he craves food more than he craves cock, and that is a lot as he is relentless with his desire to rape his own friends. He is 3.7 tonne, which creates more problems than the fact he cannot see his own cock. The “biggest” problem is that he cannot seem to leave his xbox for longer than 3 hours, as the gallons of sweat stick him to his chair for inhuman amounts of time. This leads to issues such as pungent B.O, and greasy, dandruff riddled hair. Due to these obstacles, Aston’s Biggest lack’s interactions with girls. He was rejected by them all, leading to him becoming so down bad he pretended about kissing a drunk girl. He is so heavy, if he was on the submarine he would of survived due to the immense cushioning of his major organs, however his arteries probably only have a few years remaining before they are clogged with 10,000 calories per hour’s worth of fat. The Aston’s biggest is more than likely going to die a virgin, but he got to elite division on fifa so who cares?

“Aston Villa are the fucking best blud kmt g narnie stretchers uno it skidem”
“Shut up you are literally Aston’s biggest pedophile”

by Annoymous112122 June 25, 2023

Alton Towers

A Theme Park located in Alton (A.K.A the middle of nowhere) that is home to many record breaking rides. Some really popular rides at Alton Towers that if you havent heard of, you are expected to have either lost yourself in a forest for a few hundred years or you are just dumb as fuck. These rides are known as; The Smiler, the first 14-inversion rollercoaster. Oblivion, first “vertical drop” coaster (87.5° at its steepest). There is also enterprise and spinjam. Those rides are just fillers because Alton Towers decided the wanted a Fair in the middle of there theme park. In conclusion Alton Towers is either really shitty or the best theme park you will set foot on. It all depends on if you go on a day with okay operators or knobs.

Poor soul “i went to alton towers yesterday and the operator looked like the tip of a chode and took 3 minutes to set us off in the wickerman.”

Friend “you poor, poor, soul”

by Slimyundercookednyquillchicken August 6, 2023

Asstonic

A word to describe eating someone's ass platonically.

Them: "Bro did you just eat their ass out?"
You: "Nah, bro it was asstonic."

by ManFromTheAslume August 7, 2024

Auston

A serial dick pic sender, will ask you to play truth or dare then send his willy. Best part is that he has a girlfriend.

“Bro Auston sent me another dp last night”
“Doesn’t he have a gf”
“Yeah dude”

by Sliptrips December 19, 2023

Aston

Aka The bees knees, The Mutts nuts, the dogs danglys, the whally whopper, the slobber knocker, the knicker dropper, the panty wetter, the automatic leg spreader, the main event, the king of stink, the master of disaster, the problem, the problem solver, the colossus, the planet, the INEFFABLE!

Say no more 👌🏽

“The best there is, the best there ever was and the best there ever will be ! “ aka ASTON

by AKAUNHEARDOF December 24, 2023

Aston

The bees knees, the mutts nuts, the dogs dangleys, the Whaley WHOPPER, the slobber knocker, the knickers dropper, the panty wetter, the automatic leg spreader, the master of disaster, the king of sting, the main event, the problem, the problem solver, the planet, the ineffable!!.. …,
You get what I’m saying!!
SOZ!!

“The best there is, the best there ever was abd the best there ever will be !” aka ASTON

SOZ

by AKAUNHEARDOF December 31, 2023

Aston Tax

A shameless ripoff of the iconic Fanum Tax. Whenever someone buys energy drinks or soda, Aston always taxes it like ex swedish prime minister Stefan Löfven.

Johannes: I just bought me a monster energy drink.

Aston: ASTON TAX!!!!!!!!

Greg: Bruh ima kill Aston if he keeps being a lazy fatass.

by RickBlowbre125 January 16, 2024