by zoey July 11, 2004
A rule that states a penis can touch anything for up to five seconds before the object is considered molested.
Husband: (poking dick against cosmetic mirror)
Husband: Look honey! It's kissing its reflection.
Wife: Urg! Stop molesting my mirror!
Husband: I'm not. 5-second rule! See. Smooch, one second. Smooch, one second. Smooch, one second...
Wife: (leaves to buy a new mirror)
Husband: Look honey! It's kissing its reflection.
Wife: Urg! Stop molesting my mirror!
Husband: I'm not. 5-second rule! See. Smooch, one second. Smooch, one second. Smooch, one second...
Wife: (leaves to buy a new mirror)
by Happy Jam July 28, 2011
Guys that wear tight pants, usually the really hot skateboarder types, are stupid and inconsiderate. They are selfish, hard to deal with, and extremely forgetful. The tighter the jeans, the worse the guy.
The Tight-Pant Rule in action:
Tight-pants-wearing Guy: Yeah, I'll call you at seven!
Girl: Okay sounds good!
*next day*
Girl: Why didn't you call me?
Tight-pants-wearing Guy: Uh I forgot.
Tight-pants-wearing Guy: Yeah, I'll call you at seven!
Girl: Okay sounds good!
*next day*
Girl: Why didn't you call me?
Tight-pants-wearing Guy: Uh I forgot.
by Mixed Signals Suck. January 25, 2010
A variation of the 5 second rule, which dictates that food dropped into an awkward or uncomfortable place is still edible if retrieved within five minutes. Often conceived to be a more chivalrious instead of just plain ol' disgusting, especially if a man retrieves food dropped by a woman and eats it himself, replacing her loss with something that didn't touch the floor. It is also a more applicable rule than the 5-second variation when the moment of dropping the food is particularly ironic and demands a short pause for the appreciation of the twistedness of the world.
1.
Girl: "No! I dropped my Mars-bar behind the computer desk! T_T"
Boy: "Here, have mine, I'll invoke the 5 minute rule." Boy proceeds to fish the Mars-bar, and emerges victorious after a few minutes of shuffling under the desk.
2.
Dropper: "...so I was late to get up, my car was stolen, when I got to work my boss said not to come in if I can't get there in time, and-- here I go, dropping my sandwich on the floor. Perfect." Dropper stands still for a moment before picking up the sandwich.
Girl: "No! I dropped my Mars-bar behind the computer desk! T_T"
Boy: "Here, have mine, I'll invoke the 5 minute rule." Boy proceeds to fish the Mars-bar, and emerges victorious after a few minutes of shuffling under the desk.
2.
Dropper: "...so I was late to get up, my car was stolen, when I got to work my boss said not to come in if I can't get there in time, and-- here I go, dropping my sandwich on the floor. Perfect." Dropper stands still for a moment before picking up the sandwich.
by Exapno Mapcase May 05, 2007
1: two rules of dating my friend, rule number one is there are no rules
2: what about rule number two?
1: no fat chicks
Don't date Hayley, she's a rule number two
2: what about rule number two?
1: no fat chicks
Don't date Hayley, she's a rule number two
by tdpass6000 January 04, 2017
by Go the Lions September 18, 2004
If at any point when you are intoxicated and feel the overwhelming urge to text anyone else, text a bro and he (and in very few cases she) will play along with any absurd trains of thought you might have while at the same time preventing you from doing anything too stupid... Like drunk texting.
Jack: You partying tonight?
Brandon: No, I have class in the morning.
Jack: May I invoke the Drunk Text Rule?
Brandon: I'll allow it.
Brandon: No, I have class in the morning.
Jack: May I invoke the Drunk Text Rule?
Brandon: I'll allow it.
by BroncoTheIdahoan January 23, 2012