Empire Today

A popular flooring and carpeting company that has a catchy jingle that no one could resist singing along to when the commercial comes on

Chorus: (singing): “800-588-2300, Empire Today!”

by rosenovarocks July 23, 2021

come today and buy some corn

Or we’ll sacrifice your newborn

Come today and buy some corn or we’ll sacrifice your newborn

by Randomguywastaken September 18, 2021

Not today female Jim Jones

Letting a female Jim Jones know that she wasn't going to be getting the best of you today.

It wasn't enough to defeat me, not today female Jim Jones.

by The Original Agahnim December 30, 2021

Not today female Jim Jones

Letting a female Jim Jones know the adversity and antagonizing isn't going to be enough to defeat you today.

Not today female Jim Jones, you aren't conquering it and claiming it as your territory today.

by The Original Agahnim December 30, 2021

Picnic Today

An old man with a limited grasp of the English Language approaches you and your friend just snacking on some chips.

"Picnic Today" He says "uh yeah I geuss" you say as your friend sits behind you positively bewildered.

by Absurdly huge January 24, 2022

gosh today

“gosh today” is basically the equivalent to saying “oh my lord”. it’s used as a response for when you are surprised by something but also find it funny at the same time.

Courtney: OMG I MET LIL HUDDY AND HE CANNED ME A MONKEY NIGGER!
Me: SAY WHAAAAT??! GOSH TODAY!

by naia😍 March 15, 2022

Not today heifer

When you feel pulled into other people's drama, you might think this.

Not today heifer, not my pasture, not my problem.

by Westsideisbestside August 4, 2022