talk therapy 

A place where you go to lean in a couch or (even worse) lie flat on a surface, allowing your spine to drift into dissociation while babbling on and on about the same trauma patterns recurring via different manifestations in your life every week so that you get that momentary release only to be sucked back into the patterns the next week all in service of being a line item of $250 per hour in the revenue charts of the Western Medicine business model that wants your patterns to continue so that it could keep minting $$$

I've been feeling very embodied lately and really miss the good old dissociative blabbering days so I booked a talk therapy session to experience that.

talk therapy by funnychiron July 5, 2023

Five Finger Therapy 

Getting slapped.

My mom gave me some five finger therapy because I played outside today.

Five Finger Therapy by Tha Shoe August 26, 2013

Grand Theft Auto Therapy 

A therapy session purely done by playing Grand Theft Auto video games. The concept is simple: Kill and Destroy everything, show absolutely no mercy and fuck everything. Works well after a stressful day or when your favorite sports team lose, or do it anytime after a stress inducing event. Not recommended for children, please use responsibly.

Person A: MY FAVORITE TEAM JUST LOST I'M FUCKING ANGRY
Person B: Calm down mate, just do a Grand Theft Auto Therapy instead
Person A: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT DO?!
Person B: Trust me

*Person A does 1 hour of GTA, destroying everything* *6 star and absolute chaos in game*

Person B: Better or not?
Person A: Much Better, now I'm calmer

Grand Theft Auto Therapy by RBSTN May 29, 2016

queen conversion therapy

Golden shower/gangbang combination therapy is also known as "Queen Conversion Therapy" in Canada. It has saved many lives since being developed in the late 1960s. It is being considered for addition to the World Health Organization's list of essential medicines. It is considered to be very elite. They say Maria Van Kerkhove dropped out of college to receive intensive Queen conversion therapy prior to becoming the WHO Covid-19 technical lead in 2005.

That bitch I met....she is too elite for me.... she a Queen. Look like she underwent Queen conversion therapy in high school and stayed that way her whole life

queen conversion therapy by RealRalphWiggum March 31, 2021

Little Dick Exposure Therapy 

An idea that many men subscribe to. It states that if more men with little dicks go out there and have sex and show women a good time, they'll be more open to having sex with men with small penises.

Rico:"How was your date last night?"
Tom:"It was good until it was time for sex, she rejected me after seeing my small penis."
Rico:"Maybe she just needs a little more Little Dick Exposure Therapy, better luck next time buddy."

Little Dick Exposure Therapy by BigPiel11 March 10, 2023

retail therapy 

shopping with the purpose of boosting one's mood

I don't get a mood boost from shopping, so retail therapy isn't even an option.

retail therapy by The Return of Light Joker July 19, 2010

Holistic massage therapy 

Another name for a blowjob

Honestly, honey, I'm not fooling around on you. I had to go to the clinic for my holistic massage therapy.

Holistic massage therapy by wetcoaster September 15, 2006