The unwritten, unmentioned male code of conduct strictly governing behaviour in a public restroom.
Urinal protocol dicktates (pardon the
pun) that every male must make due effort to accommodate a buffer urinal if possible. In situations when a buffer urinal is not possible, the pissor must engage in mindless, inane, random conversation with his fellow
piss-ees- a phenomenon known as urinal talk. The highest rule of urinal protocol governs eye contact. Eyes must remain straight ahead in a
zombie-like stare, and finish with only a brief glance downward (at your putz) during the final shake. While a brief glance at the face of a fellow
piss-ee is an acceptable part of urinal talk, a 30 second jaw-agape stare at his dong is un-cool. Similarly, while placing a hand on the wall above the urinal to steady
one's self is acceptable (especially when
drunk), placing
one's hand on another's sholder is not too cool. Urinal talk must
never lead to the pissor urinating on the shoes of the
piss-ee.
Urinal protocol evolved as a means to deal with urinal anxiety (also referred to as being pee
shy) and it's corresponding eccentric behaviour. Restroom owners may erect (pardon the pun) a shame shield as a method of dealing with urinal anxiety and encourage compliance with the
time-tested "urinal protocol".