a turd that is produced after eating a steak that is of very low quality(lots of gristle, fat and nerves). This turd is often very hard and painful to pass and may tear your asshole.
Damn Chili's! Their shitty steak gave me a back bottom gristle lump that I will always remember! OUCH!
by not a dirty robert July 29, 2005
in medieval times, old priestesses used to feel the bumps and lumps on their potential spouses head, they believed that the bumps on ones head tells you about the life they lived and what their future was going to be like, one specific bump on the left side of a mans head next to the ear can answer all questions relating to sex, the bigger the bump the better the sex!
by lumpedy lump February 27, 2011
by big daddy salty pecans October 22, 2003
(exclamation): An alternative form of the phrase "Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ," often used in response to intense anger, surprise, or joy by those who are more scientifically-oriented. Also used by those who have made the observation that tits are no more than blobs of fat on a woman's chest, and there's really no reason why men should be attracted to them.
"Jesus Lumps-of-Fat-Fucking Christ Batman!" Robin exclaimed in exalting joy. "I believe the phrase is 'Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ,' and there's no reason for you to be yelling random expletives in the batcave--you remember what I said about using the Lord's name in vain" Batman wryly replied, a small smirk slowly sliding up his weathered cheeks. "Oh please, Batman," Robin replied, "that's so vulgar of you--we both know that 'titty' is such a silly word. And besides, what purpose is there in having sex with two lumps of fat? Shouldn't we just be honest about it? It's absurd." Robin stated very matter-of-factly. "Alright," Batman replied, "just don't come crying to me with your tightpants pulled clear up your ass when you go asking some girl if you can touch her lumps of fat."
by Jesus Tits January 19, 2007
by jlaur623 December 01, 2010
a cup hot of tea and two lumps
by captain jack hammer September 23, 2008
1. The act of automatically assuming that a person is an ignorant, obnoxious douchebag, just because he's a white American Male. Closely associated with reverse-racism and general xenophobia, but is most often perpetuated by over-politically-correct "open-minded" white hipster girls with no marketable skills but a shitload of opinions from their community college elective courses.
2. The act of twisting or otherwise misconstruing a white American male's words to comfortably pigeonhole him into a preconceived douchebag mold.
2. The act of twisting or otherwise misconstruing a white American male's words to comfortably pigeonhole him into a preconceived douchebag mold.
1. A white amercian male, Upon approaching a group of average african-americans at the bar, "Hey gentleman, how are we tonight?"
Followed by the ubiquitous "MmmHmm" and other familiar dismissals.
"Ohhhhh....I get it, cause I'm white you assume I'm an ignorant, obnoxious douchebag racist. That's kind of racist in itself, don't you think? you do know I went to public schools right? Don't douche-lump me."
2. A white american male, upon approaching a group of hipster girls "Hello, you girls are looking very nice tonight, how are things going?" or something to that effect.
Responded to with "eww no thanks, bruh, take your chauvinist misogynistic racist homophobic right wing conservative pro-life thirsty ass elsewhere, we don't live to have our looks judged by your prototypical male standards, blah blah blah."
"Whoa Whoa Whoa...okay, okay, I get it...cause I don't wear skinny jeans, have gauged ears and a man-bun i must be a douche. How about you worthless dumb american girls who couldn't cook an egg start thinking for yourselves and actually contribute to society instead of working at a super-cool piercing salon and regurgitating mindless activist crap you read on your favorite blog this morning? Quit douche-lumping me."
3. White american male "That bartender cut me off, how gay is that?."
White hipster girl "oh my god you said gay, blah blah" sneers and ugly looks.
"Yeah yeah, it's 2015, not 1995, I know. Shut the fuck up, quit douche-lumping me."
Followed by the ubiquitous "MmmHmm" and other familiar dismissals.
"Ohhhhh....I get it, cause I'm white you assume I'm an ignorant, obnoxious douchebag racist. That's kind of racist in itself, don't you think? you do know I went to public schools right? Don't douche-lump me."
2. A white american male, upon approaching a group of hipster girls "Hello, you girls are looking very nice tonight, how are things going?" or something to that effect.
Responded to with "eww no thanks, bruh, take your chauvinist misogynistic racist homophobic right wing conservative pro-life thirsty ass elsewhere, we don't live to have our looks judged by your prototypical male standards, blah blah blah."
"Whoa Whoa Whoa...okay, okay, I get it...cause I don't wear skinny jeans, have gauged ears and a man-bun i must be a douche. How about you worthless dumb american girls who couldn't cook an egg start thinking for yourselves and actually contribute to society instead of working at a super-cool piercing salon and regurgitating mindless activist crap you read on your favorite blog this morning? Quit douche-lumping me."
3. White american male "That bartender cut me off, how gay is that?."
White hipster girl "oh my god you said gay, blah blah" sneers and ugly looks.
"Yeah yeah, it's 2015, not 1995, I know. Shut the fuck up, quit douche-lumping me."
by HeyitsGinoB69 September 15, 2015