monkey closet

don’t open my monkey closet i said to the guy he did and he got eaten to death and died and there was blood
person 1: “dont open my monkey closet
person 2: *does*
there is blood
by aceofspad3s December 31, 2021
Get the monkey closet mug.

closet sociopath

Someone who seems really chill and relaxed but periodically suggests something very dark or unnerving.
"Jill seems like a real closet sociopath. Every time we play D&D she suggests torture."
by GlueBank February 28, 2017
Get the closet sociopath mug.

closet hick

someone who doesn't appear to share the same physical traits or language as a hick, but demonstrates similar behavioral characteristics and intelligence regardless of income level or professional status; an emerging icon of the twenty-first century that has caused a plethora of ignorance, injustice, retroactive retardedness across many professions and a state of arrested development in mind, body and spirit; low-quality or the entire lacking of humor; a straight laced, highly anxietic, religiously-fundamental, fear-driven man or woman who relies on the daily news and their perspective church sermons to pat them on the butt and tell them they're good people without having to exert any effort or sacrifice to aid their fellow man
The financial analyst may preach and glut about his latest understanding of the numbers, but deep down he's just another closet hick run by the tricks and traits of baby-boomer Bob.
by chickenclutch November 09, 2010
Get the closet hick mug.

closet librarian

one who displays librarian-like tendencies despite their best efforts to hide them; in fact they usually make no efforts to hide them whatsoever.
Niles Crane (from Frasier) is a closet librarian. There are many others who have not yet come out.
by NOTMYNECK August 11, 2007
Get the closet librarian mug.

closet pirate

a bro who plays your video games, eats your leftovers and lives in your coat closet under the stairs... for FREE!
yo...eat the rest of that pasta before the Closet Pirate wakes up.
by skyskier December 13, 2008
Get the closet pirate mug.

piss closet

Watch my beer for me, I gotta run to the piss closet.
by dick fitzentite December 09, 2009
Get the piss closet mug.

Closet Cunt

1. Noun
-A girl/woman who is falsely kind, yet is secretly a total bitch. Someone who you are probably obligated in some way to maintain a friendly relationship with but actually despise.

2. Verb
-To lock a cunt in a closet.
1. That girl I work with is a total closet cunt. She likes to act friendly but does things to make my life hell.

2. I found a cunt and locked that bitch in a closet.
by mother.goose July 10, 2010
Get the Closet Cunt mug.