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Hank Boontz

The largest lumberjack, this side of the Mississippi. He can wrestle 3 bears with one hand behind is back.

Hank hasn't spoken to his children in over 15 years. He doesn't pay child support.

Hank lives in a cabin in North Minnesota, where he lives with four squirrels. There were originally 5, but there was a fatality, during a thumb wrestling match. Rest In Peace, poor Billy.

Hank has a robust collection of flannel shirts. Used to model for Black and Decker.

Member of the Dean Koontz Family Tree.
Squirrel 1: Hank Boontz, don't do it!

Hank: He shouldn't of disrespected me.

Squirrel 2: Hank, I don't think he knew that was your wife's closet.

Squirrel 5: I'm sorry! I won't do it again!

Hank: Challenge me to a thumb wrestling match for your life.

Splonald, from out of the corner: Did you guys remember to pick up cheese?

Squirrel 4: Yea, I got it.

Splonald: Thanks. *relinquishes back to the corner*

Squirrel 5: Tell your wife those acorns aren't for her. And those were the only nuts I was talking about busting in your wife's closet.

Hank after landing the final blow on Squirrel 5: Well shit, this is awkward.

Squirrel 3: THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS!
by Hank Boontz May 4, 2021
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hank hill

darker lord hank hill is from YuBs miitopia playthrough and he is easy it just takes 10 teammates
hank hill:i am da darker lord HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHHA
yub:die
hank hill:oh no i died
by darkerlordhankhill September 18, 2021
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Related Words

hank/bre

cool person, plays roblox with me, stays up till 7 am for me, ipad kid, pro at mm2, super cool, smelly and annoying
hank/bre is ipad kid and weird
by miloo<33 October 17, 2021
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Hank Hill Special

The act of finishing in your partners bum which immediately makes them lose control of bodily functions.
I gave that woman the Hank Hill Special cumb shid and fard everywhere.
by banjo26 November 9, 2021
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hank 3

Hey I take my shots straight out of the jug and I like to grt pure drunk in the Mississippi mud
Babababababaa
Hank 3-Looks like hank sr on weed
Because he is
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Hank Hill syndrome

Hank Hill syndrome is a medical condition characterized by having a narrow urethra. A male with Hank Hill syndrome will often require additional time to urinate, and will have a majorly reduced chance of impregnation via sexual intercourse.
"Everyone was shocked when my mother became pregnant with me. Many people thought she must have cheated. Because my father has Hank Hill syndrome, he has a narrow urethra."
by moobm'n May 26, 2023
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Hank Hopkins

A country, or southern rock singer, who fucks shit up, and doesn’t care what anybody thinks.
Man: have you heard of that singer Hank Hopkins?
Woman: OMG YES! I want him to have my babies!
by Definitely not hankydoodle August 18, 2023
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