Haunted File

A haunted file is a file in a law firm where something bad happens every time it is touched almost as if the spirits are angry.

Steve: "Hey Jenn, are you okay you look upset?"
Jenn: "I was all ready to go away for the weekend but then I got an email from the other side in the Jones file that they have filed an emergency motion so now I'm gonna be in the office all weekend."
Steve: "Did you touch that file before you got that email?"
Jenn: "Yeah, I did a quick check of the critical dates to ensure they were in my calendar"

Steve: "Yep, you touched the haunted file and now the spirits are angry with you"

Typically used in Law Firms this concept can also be extended into any professional field with minor modification.

Mike the electrician: "Damn I installed a GFCI and then had to spend 4 hours fault detecting"
Joe the electrician: "Let me guess MANUFACTUROR X?"
Mike: "Yeah how did you know?"
Joe: "They make haunted parts, if you put them in a house the spirits get angry"

Why oh why did I touch the Haunted File, I didn't even need to.

by TheSpazFromRainman March 13, 2022

File Crab

He is the giver of files. The ultimate member of og file hub. He is always nice to everyone and always will pertain to be.

Eventually there will be a younger crab to take over the file crab place as the true #1 file giver.

File crab just gave me snippets to a new song titled "Anacondas" and "Double Date"

by FileCrab January 4, 2024

Faux-file

Fake profiles used by stalkers and trolls for the purpose of spying people's profiles.

"Did you get a friend request from John Doe?" "No, that's just another faux-file"

by VanDyke Brown September 9, 2015

Tucker Files

Critical evidence someone claims to have, but that they won't make public. Synonym: Giuliani Files.

The prosecutor said he had absolute proof the defendant was guilty, but the Court would have to take his word for it because it was all Tucker Files.

by JG_in_SB October 30, 2020

Sperm circular file

A women's asshole or vagina.

I blew a huge load of jizz in that girls sperm circular file.

by Demitrious Octavion November 30, 2016

Got FBI files on your phone?

When you’re gonna check ya girl’s phone and she either snatches it or begs to get it back, this is what to say.

Her: Please give me back my phone!
Him: Got FBI files on your phone?

by Veggies/ Dirt March 25, 2019

Epstein Files

IF WE DO NOT GET THOSE FILES... IT IS BECAUSE AND ONLY BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT IS A PEDOPHILE AND HE IS IMPLICATED BY THEM.

Hym "Under who's administration did Jeffery Epstein die mysteriously? I wonder. Maybe I'll make this my new hyperfixation. Where are those Epstein files? I say, leak them. Steal them. And if you HAVE to leak and steal them... Kill anyone on the list. Just kill them. They don't feel the need to give people due process. Just like Noah Kroll, it seems like the rich child molesters get a pass AND DEFENDED BY THE STATE... And then I get my shit stolen! It looks like child molestation isn't that big of a deal. I know I didn't molest and kids. But I will kill one if does get credited and paid. But! I will also kill the Epstein clients! So you don't have to. Get their names. Bring them to me. And I will saw their heads off. I'm a double edged sword. But I absolutely will stab some fucking kid if you do not credit and pay me."

by Hym Iam April 10, 2025