Swedish Cactus

When you grab the base of your scrotum making your testicles "pop" out of the top of your fist.

After Josh showed me his Swedish Cactus I fell madly in love with him.

by bookoute March 27, 2009

spooky cactus

A half-demon creature, created when the soul of an ancient cactus-demon from the days of plant-worship inhabits the body of a human in the here-and-now. There is only one confirmed spooky cactus in existence, believed to be hidden in the north of England. From the careful analysis of this one isolated case, we have discovered that spooky cacti are blunt, cynical, sarcastic and taunt humankind for kicks.

'The spooky cactus had awoken, and was glaring with an uncertain cactical fury at the toaster, which she could not quite decided whether or not to make the victim of flaming spiny cactuslike wrath.'

by Celestia Cloud April 21, 2005

buttered cactus

When a guy is so hairy, his dick grows side-burns. Shaving often leaves stubble behind making it feel like a cactus inside your vagina.

Man, old man Jenkins was rockin a serious buttered cactus last night.
Thing was rough!

by ThiccBoi Jenkins April 22, 2018

Cactus in a parade

Something that just doesn't belong.

What's with the share button on pornhub? I don't know man, it's a cactus in a parade man.

by Cjepson August 8, 2019

cactus nerd

Any person with an obsessive interest in the study, collection, propagation and/or taxonomy of cacti and succulents, and possessing the ability to discuss and/or argue, ad nauseum, the finer points of each and every plant, while citing the latest peer-reviewed research.

Only a cactus nerd would travel 500 miles to look at that spiny stick.

by Johnny Cactus May 13, 2015

Stiff Cactus

A very slow person

Josh says he gets his weed in the mail. He is such a Stiff Cactus

by Efy17xx March 4, 2011

Cactus Head

Someone who is annoying you or is being an idiot.

Originating from the LA punk scene in the late 70's.

"Piss off, cactus head"

by HawkRing May 15, 2016