Pernicious Assistance

Help provided against the will of the recipient and/or giver

The grocery store bagger, in a fine display of pernicious assistance, quickly jammed my items into the bag, despite my saying "no, thanks" as I paid the cashier. "It's my job, ma'am," said his mouth, as his eyes told me to stop blocking the line.

by Pernicious Assistant November 10, 2021

Goose Assist

When a goose fan unceremoniously shoves the dripfield album into your clenched asshole.

I got a Goose Assist in Philly last night and I’m not doing too well this morning.

by Bob Weir’s Clam Diggers March 24, 2022

4th assist

A mysteriously non-useful but pleasant position in the OR.

This Jabroni was 4th assist in our OR case.

by SurgeryBro February 2, 2022

ad-skip assistant

Refers to a fellow human whom you assign to click out of commercials that often randomly appear during YouTube videos; this would be for periods of time when you are unable to operate the mouse/touch-pad yourself, such as when you have to take a dump but don't wanna pause the interesting video you were watching, but instead want to keep listening to the presentation while you're pooping. Having this other person skip over the ads for you ensures that you won't have to teeth-grindingly suffer through many minutes of boring ads while you sit on da crapper waiting for the program to resume. This can work best for largely-speech-based videos such as tech-subject lectures/documentaries, where you don't need to always watch the screen to enjoy the program.

I'm on SSI Disability, so I often spend much of my time at home; occasionally my also-unemployed buddy owes me a few bucks, and so I "hire" him to come over each day and be my ad-skip assistant for a 25¢ credit per ad; he usually "pays off" his debt that way in just a couple weeks.

by QuacksO October 20, 2021

Assistant Head

A person so skilled in the mastery of giving head, that they are now paid handsomely to assist others in the art.

That Annie is a born phenom on the D-stick, she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!

I hear she is now an Assistant Head of EGG's and being paid to tutor the younguns in the art form.

by Scroody October 28, 2021

Nico/Assist

Our God you should worship him he's everything you're not people aren't obsessed with you they're obsessed with Nico 🙌👏🙏🙇
Live love laugh Assist all hail Nico‼️

"Omg look there's a Nico! 😻"
"WHERE??? "
"RIGHT THERE DUMB BIYCH"
"Nico/assist is the best let's worship him hoe‼️"

by Lovely Esther September 27, 2021

supermarket assistant

Aunty's cookies Gunna have me all fucked up.... Aka can I have 5 marijuana's 👾

If you can't find the cookies ask the supermarket assistant.

by Lost then found July 15, 2021