Swipe n' Wipe

The act of optimizing one's time on social media while using the toilet. Originally discovered for Tinder, hence the 'swipe', but can be applied to the use of any social media platform.

When Paul's mother busted open the bathroom door, she found him engrossed in his morning Swipe n' Wipe.

by baba bubbler May 26, 2016

One Swipe Wipe

Only having to wipe one’s asshole once after an amazing silk dook.

I just took a perfect shit. No remnants. I did a one swipe wipe and I was on my way.

by Eaton Holgoode December 26, 2018

pb&j wipe

When a girl wipes after pooping while on her period resulting in a red and brown “pb&j wipe”

It’s oddly satisfying to get a pb&j wipe while on my period.

by WaywardPrincess May 23, 2019

Velvet Wipe

A wipe job after a squeaky clean shit that is soft, smooth and requires only one pass of toilet paper thru the ass cheeks.

Thanks to his high fiber diet, Jerry always shits with confidence in knowing that he will always have squeaky clean drop followed by a Velvet Wipe.

by Eaton Holgoode February 27, 2015

ass wiper

same as ass wipe but someone who sucks on a much larger scale.

My ex-husband is a short little ass wiper!

by Holly J. August 21, 2006

ass wipe

A complete moron; without a clue

George Bush is an Ass Wipe

by Laura July 20, 2004

fuck wipe

A stupid dumbass that cannot think for themself. Someone that you have to spoonfeed through each step of any process.

Turn on the computer you fuck wipe.

Shirly blew our cover, stupid fuck wipe.

by PC HELP July 27, 2007