Jizz Tickets

A plain, simple, preferably cheap although not too cheap or it sticks to the skin roll of toilet paper cleverly hidden in one's room for usage of cleaning up one's mess proceeding a successful wanking.

"Where has internet porn been all my life?! . . . Also, where are the Jizz Tickets?. . ."

by adem g September 8, 2013

ticket taker

Someone who sells their freedom, morals, independence, soul, etc. in exchange for material wealth and worldly pleasures. (In other words, a sellout of the worst degree.) These people are typically lapdogs of the dark overlords that run the media and entertainment industry.

Ben Shapiro is often hailed as a prodigy, but he’s really just another ticket taker. He sold himself to the media industry and now he’s a spineless cuck who only does what (((they))) tell him to.

by EliteNinja26 July 29, 2023

Timber ticket

A rag, pillowcase or blanket used to mop up semen.

Mom found the timber ticket

by Muthaphukker January 19, 2022

Gas ticket

Irish slang for a very funny person

“You’re a gas ticket!”

by Irishgal2000 December 27, 2021

ate a ticket

getting busted by pigs

Thanks for coming out to the cornhole tournament. It was a blast!! Unfortunately the cops were not intrigued by my bag hucking skills and so I ate a ticket. Venmo is @huckbags and the digits are 42069

by 69loverneverdoer November 8, 2021

Speeding Ticket

(NOUN): A summons issued to a coworker or employee when they screw up a task because of task saturation. Or a summons your spouse issues to you for screwing something up even though you are managing a thousand things correctly.

e.g., 1) My boss keeps giving me more sh*t to do just so he can give me a speeding ticket for messing up a task. 2) My wife is always giving me speeding tickets when I screw up and when I give her a speeding ticket, she always figures out how to turn it around and issue the speeding ticket back at me.

by Barely Managing February 13, 2023

wolf tickets

To "cry wolf", as in the children's story "The Boy Who Cried Wolf", meaning to persistently raise the alarm about a non-existent threat, with the implication that the person who cried wolf would not be taken seriously should a real emergency take place, which causes them trouble should ever have a legitimate need.

"I've never known him to sell wolf tickets; I believe his story about being attacked by ninjas."

by weirdoactor December 10, 2008