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sweet baby jesus 

(N) A figure of speech used to express extreme disgust and/or astonishment, shock, temporary fits of anger, or otherwise feelings of intense disappointmn. Usually accompanied by a blank stare, the blue eagle or in extreme cases, complete loss of bowel control. The phrase originated hundreds of years ago, but has since been popularized in use by a certain Dean at a certain High School in 1997. Since then, the term has been widely used by the general public.

Toilet paper was strewn from the windows, flushed into the toilets and clogged into the urinals. Ceiling panels were floating on the floor. Hand soap was used like finger paints all over the mirror. The paper towel dispenser was in pieces and the trash can was upside down, its cntents gracefully fluttering through the air... The only words that came to Dean Cordova's mind in his abject horror were: "Sweet Baby Jesus!"

The rest, my friends, is a LEGACY.
sweet baby jesus by S. Bruno May 15, 2008

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also widely known as the "Mormon Church," or "LDS Church", is the largest denomination within the Latter Day Saint movement (Mormonism), a branch of Christian Restorationism. The Church is headquartered in Salt Lake City, Utah, USA.
One of Christianit's fringe groups.

Sleazy Jesus 

An deliciously strong alcoholic beverage meant to be chugged.

It consists of half Natural Light and half Sangria, and is finished off with a shot of vodka. After mixing the ingredients in a red solo cup, the drink is meant to be consumed extremely fast for the best end result. Sangria is used to represent the blood of jesus and the beer/vodka to make you sleazy.

The drink received its name from the sleazy jesus scene in the recent musical "Reefer Madness."
Holy Jeez, that Sleazy Jesus was damn good.

Another round!
Sleazy Jesus by Otard June 27, 2008

Apple Jesus 

When your iphone or MacBook dies, they go up in the Cloud to Apple Jesus.

When an Apple product is sick and you need just long enough to let your contract run out or get them backed up, you pray that they don't go see Apple Jesus yet.

Apple Jesus lives where the Cloud is.
I still owe $200 on my iphone 6, so it can't go see Apple Jesus yet!

I lost my iphone today. I am praying to Apple Jesus that my photos I took last night are really up in the cloud.

Gabriel Jesus 

The best average player to grace a football pitch. HIs touch on the ball is mediocre but he can still steal the ball...and your girlfriend. FUCK YOU HES THE BEST
Ugly girl: WHo even is Gabriel Jesus?
Hot Girl: THE BEST PLAYER IN THE FUCCKING WORLD

jacked up to jesus 

when your hair is so high Jesus can touch it

source: toddlers and tiaras
your hair is jacked up to jesus
jacked up to jesus by jymmrtn October 31, 2014