Dolfy's phone guy. He usually calls him when he has a problem with something but refuses to fix it, even after a brief update.
Dolfy: I demand a cure for this ugliness. I'm fed up with being ugly.
Burgdorf: My Failure, I have no news on a cure. No one yet understands what caused this mutation. All attempts so far to restore us to our former glory have all failed.
Dolfy: No progress has been made?
Burgdorf: My Failure, you should speak with Koller.
Dolfy: Koller. Give me Koller. Koller, has any progress been made with curing our ugly problem?
Karl Koller: No.
Dolfy: Why not? There should be a way to cure us.
Koller: No, we can't be cured.
Dolfy: Yes we can, you idiot. The ugliness was inflicted on us and I believe our ugliness can be reversed.
Koller: Hold a moment. I'm receiving a note on our ugly problem. It says here we can't be cured. These mutations have permanently deformed us on a supramolecular scale. These mutations will continue to alter our appearance. Our voices are also damaged beyond repair.
Dolfy: Nothing but lame excuses from a bunch of incompetent dummies. I demand a cure. If you fail to cure us, I will hang you with this deformed phone. Unbelievable. They claim we can't be cured of our ugliness. Those are the same idiots who said the cake is a lie.
Burgdorf: My Failure, if you're so sure our ugly problem can be cured. Why haven't you actually come up with the solution yourself?
Dolfy: Back off.
Burgdorf: My Failure, I have no news on a cure. No one yet understands what caused this mutation. All attempts so far to restore us to our former glory have all failed.
Dolfy: No progress has been made?
Burgdorf: My Failure, you should speak with Koller.
Dolfy: Koller. Give me Koller. Koller, has any progress been made with curing our ugly problem?
Karl Koller: No.
Dolfy: Why not? There should be a way to cure us.
Koller: No, we can't be cured.
Dolfy: Yes we can, you idiot. The ugliness was inflicted on us and I believe our ugliness can be reversed.
Koller: Hold a moment. I'm receiving a note on our ugly problem. It says here we can't be cured. These mutations have permanently deformed us on a supramolecular scale. These mutations will continue to alter our appearance. Our voices are also damaged beyond repair.
Dolfy: Nothing but lame excuses from a bunch of incompetent dummies. I demand a cure. If you fail to cure us, I will hang you with this deformed phone. Unbelievable. They claim we can't be cured of our ugliness. Those are the same idiots who said the cake is a lie.
Burgdorf: My Failure, if you're so sure our ugly problem can be cured. Why haven't you actually come up with the solution yourself?
Dolfy: Back off.
by The Real Driller October 1, 2022
Get the Karl Koller mug.The gumpiest, turtle looking mother f***** you've ever met. A major asshole, but so innocent you can't blame him for it. Drives an obnoxious jeep with a chopped exhaust that is obviously compensation for his undersized penis. His hobbies include racing every car on the highway, recieving dry, over the pants hand jobs in his friends garage, and spending all of his dads money on Patagonia gear. We all love him though!
He's such a Kollen
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