Padding

The entirely heterosexual act of copulating with other males in order to increase one's 'body count'. This has been popularised lately due to the 'modern woman' having an intrinsic repulsion to virginic males.

(Note: In the contemporary dating scene, a body count below 17 is widely considered to be 'sub-incel numbers' and is described by many as a form of C&B torture.)

There are many sexual benefits to padding. These include:
Confidence boost, penis confidence boost, better posture, better thrusting technique and power, ashwaganda, and on-demand BJs.

Several peer-reviewed papers have come forth with conclusive evidence that performing fellatio on a male penis corresponds with improved cunnilingus proficiency by up to 15%. World renowned pussyologist Dr Pussymandias famously stated:

"Yo, if yuh OPE/H oral penile ejaculations per hour index high, dat mean seh yuh know how fi please di Female Sexual Organs real good. Di two a dem have a strong link, yuh see me?" (note: Dr Pussymandias has recently had his academic and professional wrestling titles stripped for LARPing as a Jamaican man.)

Ani: "Have you guys seen Alvin? I haven't seen him lately."
Niraj: "Nah mayne, I ain't even seen my own ass ASSHOLE since last year. An I ain't even gay!"
Ani: "Erm... I'm going to ignore that. Can you answer my question?"
Niraj: "Aint he yo boyfriend? Shiiiiet, I may have hit dat plump ass ass myself..."
Ani: "The last thing I heard him mutter under his breath was something to do with padding."
Niraj: "Bredda... bredda..."
Ani: "I looked it up on Urban Dictionary and found something about sticking tampons to walls... I am at my wits end."
Niraj: "Bredda the only thing getting Urbanly Dicked is your mans. He's getting DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKED."
Ani: "Erm... isn't that gay?"
Niraj: "Actually no, that is a misconception. He is merely painstakingly investing in his sexual marketplace value in order to be half the man you always wanted him to be."
Ani: "That sounds quite ga-"
Niraj: "Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING."
Ani: *sucks own pussy*
Niraj: *goes bollocks-on-the-wall insane*

Alvin: "I am having sex with men in order to increase my body count :) this is called padding."

The End

by BoganBumfucker March 30, 2023

Toilet Padding

Protection against splashback via loading the toilet bowl with large amounts of toilet paper, creating a cushion-like padding in which poo may be gently dumped.

"Man, I used so much fucking Toilet Padding it almost clogged the pipes! Fucking half the whole roll man! If I hadn't, that shit man, it would have soaked my ass like a depth charge had gone off."

by Arkhangelsk July 19, 2009

Star Panda

a really unintelligent and grotesque looking girl who is a horrible mother. often times she is a poser and makes a fool of herself in public settings. she is very lazy and irresponsible, and will take all of your money and waste it. beware, as you can smell her stench from miles away.

Is Star Panda here? Let's go home.

by chunomitommy January 3, 2011

Disappearing Panda

when you are fucking a chick with a condom on. then you say, "look, a panda". then when she looks you take off the condom and snap it right in her eye.

My chick is so dumb, i actually pulled off the dissappearing panda on her!

by Special Ed February 2, 2005

pandicked

1. (adj.) To be surrounded by dick.

2. (adj.) To be surrounded by people who are dicks.

1. "Man, that crippled girl in the gang bang scene was so completely pandicked."

2. "The folks my mom works with are such jerks. She comes home everyday talking about how pandicked she is from 9 to 5."

by Gisum the Pooh April 10, 2011

pandacity

The state or quality of viewing things in a pandacious manner, that is, seeing things as being black and white like the colors of a panda.

With utter pandacity he decided she was entirely against him because she wouldn't agree with all of his views.

by Gregory V. Richardson November 30, 2003

Panda Data

A collection of Porn, generally stored on a PC or optical medium such as CD/DVD.

Businessman: "Hey, I've got a lonely business trip coming up...have you got anything that might keep me entertained?"
Office Youth: "Hell yeah! I've got some panda data that will make you bust a nut!"

by Dan_monkey August 14, 2006