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Cosmic Piñata

An entity/person/thing that is responsible for actively or passively absorbing bad events (or, taking the 'hit') so that good things can happen to others, or so that others can avoid bad things.

In most cases when an inordinate number of misfortunes occur seemingly as a 'string of bad luck,' the universe is most likely picking on you.
Example 1:
Guy 1: Hey, I heard Steve got struck by lightening thirteen times yesterday!
Guy 2: Yeah totally. I was standing right next to him. If he didn't take it all I would have gotten struck too!
Guy 1: Oh God, yeah, Steve must be a Cosmic Piñata. Last time I was almost hit by a car but Steve appeared out of nowhere-the car swerved and hit Steve instead!... We're lucky he was with us when shit happened!

Example 2:
Guy 1 does 20 gacha pulls in a mobile game and get rubbish. Guy 1 is a Cosmic Piñata because he unwittingly raised the chance for another player to get something good.
Guy 2 does 1 gacha pull and get 10 x 5* characters. Guy 2 got lucky because Guy 1 absorbed all the trash.

Example 3:
Girl 1: Hey look! a Louis Vuitton for only 50 bucks on this website!!
Girl 2: *pulls out credit card and buys 10* - OMG! I NEED!

Girl 2: *Finds out it was fake and the thieves stole her credit card details and maxed it out. She didn't have theft insurance.* - Shit!

Girl 1: Oh God! Lucky you found out or it would have been me who would have been conned!
Girl 2: God I hate being a Cosmic Piñata! What did I do to deserve this!?
by KenshoMo October 17, 2020
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you came from a great cosmic egg

A nicer way of telling someone " you don't know what you are talking about because you butted into a conversation you had no business butting into in the first place"
Parents talking and son interrupts : can I go to a Trump rally with my gf Jessica?

Parents : drive yourself away by all means necessary. Btw since you came from a great cosmic egg, you can also learn some manners and not interrupt us when we are talking.
by Sexydimma May 16, 2016
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cosmic noise

Noise caused by radiation outside of Earth’s atmosphere
by acme2004 February 9, 2018
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Cosmic

Adj:
Something or someone exceptionally amazing or great. Typically used when the thing being described is so amazing, one can't come up with any other word.

A quick way to say every synonym for "awesome" in one word
"Woah! You got a new dog?! Cosmic!!"

"I met this girl last Thursday, she was super cosmic..."
by Moobot February 1, 2017
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cosmic jizz

The junk you find primarily on used video game controlers found at yard sales and flea markets
I got a sweet deal on an old nintendo. But it's totally covered in cosmic jizz
by zaksquatch July 22, 2011
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cosmic whirl

A large thingy that never fucking ends in space
The cosmic whirl never fucking ends by the way.
by alcoholic99 November 1, 2023
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Cosmic Brownies

A slang term used to say that you want to eat someone's human waste.
by poopcats267 November 19, 2023
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