Corporate Aikido

Corporate Aikido is the art of redirecting people who need help, instead of saying no, so you can get back to Minesweeper or, these days, Reddit. You use their energy against them, sending them off to accounting, answering their questions with a request for more information, etc. Corporate Aikido techniques and throws are best practiced in conference calls and meetings, where the unskilled opponent will appear to all to be combative and aggressive if he or she shows the slightest resistance to the Corporate Aikido movements.

How to use Corporate Aikido, by designbydave: "Yes, I am almost 100% sure what is wrong with your laptop, but I want you to go back and get more information for me, retrieve the appropriate power cables, software install discs etc so I don't have to work on it right this second, I'm currently reading a fascinating, 10 page article about a feral child that I found on reddit."

by knumbknuts September 6, 2013

Corporate Entrance

The anus. Usually used to describe the act of anal sexual intercourse. A popular term used in business culture due to the extremely high rate of anal intercourse between management and their subordinates. This conveniently prevents problematic pregnancies and romantic entanglement, while reinforcing authority.

"Morning sir, will you be taking the corporate entrance today?"

"Please feel free to use the corporate entrance when convenient, sir"

by Privalux June 30, 2021

Corporate Sockline

The ring-like imprint that is left on a person's lower leg as a result of wearing dress socks all day. These are frequently seen on middle aged men who go to the gym directly after work.

"Nice corporate sockline. You must be a kind of a big deal."

by Bhendu14 January 20, 2010

Corporate Suicide

The forced surrendering of license to operate a business that requires said license. Since, it is not conducive to profit from such action, this should raise a red flag. There must be underlying and mitigating factors involved. Look for conspiracy. A tip-off that there is sure colluding and government corruption in the mix is when the State Supreme Court send you a letter that states, "Your grievance, even if true would not constitute ethical misconduct or incapacity."

This really puts a kink in an investigation when a person needs the death of the corporation reversed so it can testify.

Corporate Suicide is an invention of Big Brother!

George Orwell was right Enron was a Corporate Suicide, children of the world will suffer!

by gravy111 November 30, 2010

corporate scum

Someone who doesn't give a shit about other people and only cares about their success/money.

They are just a bunch of corporate scums!

by A coney thing January 30, 2019

corporate wife

A Woman or Man with a parter up high on the corporate ladder. They are like a Wag, or a soccer mum.they don’t work much and must be seen building there partners report in only the best designer outfits and have the ability to small talk and entertain frequently whilst looking smart and sexy at all times

John got the promotion. I’m such a corporate wife now

by Givemewine October 27, 2017

corporate pedophilia

(N.) When big buisnesses in the TV/Movies/Music industry try to get their cosumers aroused to increase sales by making sexy people seem sweet and tender and making them dress up and behave like schoolgirls/boys. Often times, instead of imitation, they'll use actual children.

The Olsen Twins, Hilary Duff, and Britney Spears in schoolgirl outfits! Yeah! Alright! Sexy Corporate Pedophila at it's best! Yee-ha!

(psyche.)

by G-Union December 12, 2003