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wangpire

n. Wang·pire-
A wangpire is an entity who nibbles wangs for sustenance, feeding upon the protein inherent in semen. They prey upon lonely males of about 20-75 years old. Recent studies indicate a preference for Columbian men between 65 and 67 years of age. Much like the fabled vampires of old, the wangpire has strong aversion and weakness to certain substances. Among them are herpes, vaginas, and Rachel. Many come to wangpires in hopes of sexual release but come away haggard, sickly, sterile, dead, or a wangpire themselves.
All wangpires were, at one time, human, but have since mutated by having another wangpire bite their penis in mid-fellatio.
Etymology-
The word wangpire is a portmanteau, formed from the words vampire and wang.

History-
Wangpires are actually of vampire descent, a branch long since split from the great vampire houses. They were cast out from the others for being incessantly and unrelentingly gay, a trait not much admired in the proud vampire families. Free of restriction, they quickly found they could bring together their two greatest needs, wang nibbling and vampirity, as one. As homosexuality came to see some social acceptance in the recent decades the wangpires prospered immensely. The age of vampires was waning and the exiles became the great. Many of the larger wangpire houses kept harems of upwards of 50 men, and nibbled as they pleased. Some even went so far as to keep men stationed all around their estates to serve as ever-present buffets. Previously a stain on the family tree of the vampires, the wangpires now reigned supreme, and none shall forget the still growing legacy of the astoundingly gay sect of vampires known as the Wangpires.
by Source: Sambra & Olga March 3, 2005
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wangerific

My girlfriend looks wangerific in her naughty schoolgirl outfit!
by Led Zeppole October 2, 2003
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Wangerd

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AH! Bill got wangerd.
by Jack notblack but white April 19, 2009
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Wanger Hanger

When a female slides her hand up the shorts (preferably boardshorts) of a drunken, passed out male and gives a nice little tug on his junk, soft enough such that he does not awaken but hard enough to wildly entertain the surrounding audience.

Past-Tense: wung hung
Bree gave Bauer a massive "Wanger Hanger" when he was passed out on the beach chair.
by don mico June 11, 2006
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