Telecrabscisty

A strong feeling of hatred to anyone who uses the words “ah funny” in a sentence.

Sandra shut the fuck up, you give me Telecrabscisty

by Fencewall the third December 9, 2022

telerape

The act of calling someone's cellular phone over and over again until they answer.

1) I seriously didn't want to talk to her, but she fricking teleraped me all through dinner so I had to put an end to it.

2) I thought he might be cool until he revealed himself as a telerapist

by The Defiant Cow June 3, 2009

the telegraph

A news company, for retards, by retards.

-You read the Telegraph?
-No, I heard they wanted to censor slang

by Bhb October 25, 2019

Tampon Telegraph

a covert communication device inserted in the vagina of a secret-agent or sexy spy. The earliest models could only send an out-going message encoded by the secret-agent squeezing her vagina in Morse-code, which was then converted the kegel contractions into radio signals. The advantage of the device was that it was unlikely to be found after a thorough frisking or even a strip-search. In the event it was found, the secret-agent could merely explain that she was having her period (as the device looked like an ordinary tampon with the string serving as the antenna). An improved version of the device was later devised that could receive and convey incoming messages as well as communicating outgoing messages. The incoming message, also in Morse-code, was translated into vibrations that corresponded to the dots and dashes. While effective as a communication device, this newer version suffered from the draw-back that it tended to cause intense orgasms in the secret-agents and, as the tampon could not absorb all the natural orgasmic lubricant due to its being filled with electronic gadgetry, the orgasmic fluid would often carry the tampon-transponder out into the panties of the secret agent, and she would have to improvise a hasty trip to the lady's room to reinsert the device before she could resume communication.

The tampon telegraph was first used by super-models because spy agencies believed that the thinnest women had the tightest vaginas and would therefore be best able to squeeze the transponders with their vaginas to generate out-going messages. Unfortunately, the super-model secret-agents had sex so frequently, necessitating the removal of the tampon telegraph, that they were often out of communication, and less attractive secret agents had to be recruited.

by wouldaben December 16, 2010

jungle telegraph

A type of telepathic communication between others while under the influence of certain drugs. Speed of any sort can cause this. Not many people know about it but many experience it.

I started hearing voices with my jungle telegraph.

by Freckledowl33 January 29, 2017

Telegraphed

Verb to describe having ones expenses or financial status 'reviewed'. Taken after the The Daily Telegraph newspaper that published leaked papers showing how certain British MPs have claimed expenses inappropriately.

Allen: Jesus Bateman, there's not a chance you'll get your $5000 claim for watermarked business cards paid.
Bateman: I claimed over $45,000 in expenses last year and didn't get Telegraphed once. Fuck 'em.

by BrianTrousers May 19, 2009

telegraph pole

someone as tall as that!

matthew tsang is a telegraph pole =)

by mootmootmoot =DDDD January 29, 2005