I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
by Captainrex July 20, 2017
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shreak • Shreakapova • Shreaky • freak shreak • wookie battle shreak • shrek • Shreked • Shreking • shreck • shrekism
by A brogre December 26, 2013
Get the shreking off mug.The biggest one in the swamp.
Instantly makes you so moist that you can't even handle it.
As soon as that slimy tentacle reaches your throat, you'll go into cardiac arrest from it's extreme length.
If you are looking for some good dick, ask Shrek.
Instantly makes you so moist that you can't even handle it.
As soon as that slimy tentacle reaches your throat, you'll go into cardiac arrest from it's extreme length.
If you are looking for some good dick, ask Shrek.
"Have you had a dick appointment lately?"
"Yeah, it was Shrek's Dick!"
"HOLY SHIT! HOW ARE YOU NOT IN A WHEELCHAIR??"
"Yeah, it was Shrek's Dick!"
"HOLY SHIT! HOW ARE YOU NOT IN A WHEELCHAIR??"
by strummedonny June 8, 2018
Get the Shrek's Dick mug.by I am part of a Shrek cult November 29, 2019
Get the Shrek cult mug.A unit of time that is typically exactly 1 hour and 35 minutes 32 seconds, the same length as the movie, Shrek (2001), invented by PornHub user and prominent intellectual, HertogJ. As the movie will be an additional second in length for certain DVD players, which is approximately one in every 9.807 DVDs, Leap Shreks™ must be included when measuring time with this unit. One Leap Shrek™ is equal to 95 minutes and 33 seconds, and occurs once every 9.807 (typically rounded to 9.81 or 10) Shreks™.
Shrek (unit of time) in a sentence:
Person 1: yo free my homie, he just committed arson, kidnapped and held hostage 7 people and committed vehicular manslaughter and they gave the mf 34 years! 😤
Person 2: huh? What's that in Shreks™?
Person 1: 188109.47 Shreks™ excluding Leap Shreks™ to 8 significant figures.
Person 2: damn bro that's crazy... we live in a society yo 😞 free my nigga on god 🙏
Person 1: yo free my homie, he just committed arson, kidnapped and held hostage 7 people and committed vehicular manslaughter and they gave the mf 34 years! 😤
Person 2: huh? What's that in Shreks™?
Person 1: 188109.47 Shreks™ excluding Leap Shreks™ to 8 significant figures.
Person 2: damn bro that's crazy... we live in a society yo 😞 free my nigga on god 🙏
by Samueliscool223 August 13, 2021
Get the Shrek (unit of time) mug.Shrekism is a religion revolving around the character in the 2001 animated film, called "Shrek". Its followers say things like: Cutting onions with my knife, Shrek is love Shrek is life. Shrekisim is praying to Shrek and hoping he will reward us with eternal life. Our greatest enemy is the Drek Lord Farquaad worshipers. They believe that Farquaad who tried to take Shreks wife is the true ruler. Big online battles rise on shrekchan.com about this topic, that is very sensitive to its followers.
by TheMightyOgrelord March 5, 2014
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