Safeway

To screw up your schedule every week. To have only two aisles open even though there are eight. To have zero tolerance for any physical contact expect right handed handshakes. This includes consensual hugging, kissing, pat on back, between co-workers, vendors, friends, family members, and even fiancees and spouses. They consider this sexual harassment even though hugging is not sexual. This is rule fit for boot camps or prisons, and communist countries like Cuba, N Korea, Vietnam. This policy increases chances of drug abuse, depression, and work place violence and decreases employee chemistry due to oxytocin deficiency, bonding and cuddle hormone. Safeway slogan ingredients of life. Better slogan ingredients for oxytocin deficiency and poor worker chemistry. No employee has rogue's super powers.

I have class on Tues and Thurs between 8 Am and 3:15 Pm. They schedule me 12 pm to 4 pm. They schedule me on Saturdays 4 to 9 more often than not. I hugged a depressed girl the store says I committed sexual harassment even though the touching wasn't sexual. I wasn't her client I am not in a position of authority over her. Most people who hug children aren't pedophiles. They don't molest strangers or out in the open public. They wait until the child and family trust them. You risk long term unemployment if you work for safeway even when there is no recession.

by Fenwick Island April 5, 2010

Soviet Safeway

A really bad supermarket characterised by poor produce selection and long lines at the check out.

Homeboy: If we gonna drink tequila we need to stop at the store and get some limes.

Dude: Just don't pull into the Soviet Safeway there is no way they got any!

by oldbull September 6, 2010

Safeway Shit Syndrome

A condition that affects a person in where someone has to take a shit minutes after entering a Safeway. Rumor has it that the section of the pharmacy where they create high powered subscription laxatives in right under the ventilation system, spreading any particles from the creation throughout the store and causing the sudden urge to shit.

Matt: Get some some chips for the party, I got the sudden urge to take a shit!

Dan: You've got Safeway Shit Syndrome, damn I've go to shit too!

by zar21 March 23, 2011

The Safeway Sage

Retired men who communicate using gender-based jokes, wife jokes, and corny one-liners like "Working hard or hardly working?"

A Safeway Sage feels that a classic witticism like "I'm not getting old, my mirror is wrinkled" sounds fresh no matter how many times you've heard it.

by Robert Lanham, Author of Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic August 4, 2004

Safeway

A store with damn high prices but low value

Never shop at safeway or you'll get my warning. Or is it? I'm not making sense? I will soon.

by in love May 13, 2005

safeway

Where the Bogans shop

Tracey: will you fuckin' kids shut the fuck up; Im buying some VB and wini blues and then we can get the fuck out of safeways

Shazza: Hey Tracey you old crack whore; what the fuck are you doing in safeways? The fuckin' footys on for fucks sake you bloody Bogan

Tracey: That prick Dazza sent me out for some piss and durries; the fuckin magpies are getting flogged anyway; fuckin team of Bogans

by Iamnotaboganforfuxsake August 3, 2008

Safeway Punch

The act of winding up and punching someone as hard as you can, in the middle of Safeway.

Random Person: What the hell was that?

You: That was a Safeway punch.

by TehRealDeal October 16, 2010