1. Someone I am "blacker" than.
2. Makes Wayne Brady look
like Malcolm X who made Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X.
3. Someone who is clearly #'s 1 and 2 due to his time as leader of Hootie and the Blowfish, Burger King jingles, and subsequent "country"
music "career".
4. Carlton Banks with a Southern drawl.
Commercial Director: "We need to find an African-American
celebrity to wear a foam cowboy hat and play the ukulele for our new Oscar Meyer Weiner jingle, but...
Producer: "Yeah, so what's the problem?
Commercial Director: "...no one is that much of an
Uncle Tom!"
Producer: "I have
Darius Rucker on speed dial."
Commercial Director: "Perfect!!!"