Resolutioner

proper noun; muscle & fitness terminology; a new or rarely seen gym member who's sudden appearance has undoubtedly been brought about by a personal resolution to "get in shape."

The Resolutioner is viewed as somewhat of a nuisance by regular gym patrons because their commitment to fitness is often only temporary (usually fading within 2-8 weeks of initial sighting). In the mean time, the Resolutioner succeeds only in crowding up the gym's limited floor space, sweating up the machines, and generally interfering with the workouts of more hardcore gym members.

A Resolutioner may appear at any time, however, they are seen in increasing numbers during the months of December and January thanks to the ever popular tradition of declaring personal resolutions around the start of a new year (see New Year's Resolution).

Resolutioners can most easily be identified by looking for the following: 1) brand new, color coordinated workout apparel 2) sweat bands and/or leather gloves 3) stylish off-the-shelf water bottle 4) bad form and lack of confidence around the machines.

Resolutioners often include: the fat person trying to do crunches 2) the skinny guy struggling to bench almost no weight at all and 3) the chick in front of the mirror waving around those adorable little pink dumbells.

Regular Patron 1: "Hey dude, what are you still doing here? You're usually long gone by now."

Regular Patron 2:"Yeah, I know. I had to wait for some Resolutioner to quit playing around with the Pec Deck."

by BeRzErKaS January 10, 2008

new year's resolution

a goal that you propose then forget the next day.

a goal that should be realistic.

My new year's resolution is to eat less junk food, exercise more, and live an overall healthier, more productive, studious, exciting, and fulfilling life. This will probably result in utter failure, but I am making it anyway.

by i swear to god i'm not drunk December 29, 2005

New Years Resolution Resolution

What happens when you find that you New Years resolution is out of reach and you quickly change it to avoid disappointment and self loathing.

Jerry: I want to lose 50 pounds by Febuary.

Kerry: You might want to consider a New Years resolution resolution.

by CITR96 December 26, 2010

New Year's resolution

n: An assessment of, and often delusional attempt to correct, one's shortcomings. Typically made on a day that is arbitrary except that it begins a new year on the standard Gregorian Calendar. Given the arbitrary nature of the date and the sudden change of lifestyle demanded by most resolutions, it should not be surprising that most resolutions are abandonded by the start of the next year. Fortunately the next New Year gives a person the opportunity to make the same resolution again.

A common New Year's resolution: get fit, get thin, get hot, get laid.

A common outcome: stay out of shape, stay fat, stay ugly, masturbate.

by ScabNainz January 19, 2006

new year's resolutions

Things you promise yourself you will do or accomplish, but try as you might you never will.

"This year I'm going to lose weight"
december 31, 2005, weight = 300 lb
"God damnit!!"

by Asshat December 31, 2004

revolcandose

To sleep around, to be fucking with someone.

Esa nena nomas se la lleva revolcandose con los hombres.

by Travieza March 8, 2005

low-resolution hottie

A girl who looks good from a distance, but close-up is actually butters.

I say Crispin, I believe I'd like to dip my wick in that young sort over there. Let's get a closer look.

On closer inspection she's a hound. Sorry old chum, got caught out by a low-resolution hottie.

by Leroy_n_Tyrone October 21, 2009