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Ass-Blasterbate

A form of masturbation involving fingering ones ass hole and extremely runny diarrhea. The act can be extremely loud and messy and for unknown reasons is frowned upon when carried out in public.
After days of eating Taco Bell, Ronald finally had the shits necessary to Ass-Blasterbate to the best of his abilities.
by TheWopShop December 31, 2013
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Pasterbator

When you say you were thinking of a girl to make them feel good when you were actually jerkin it while thinking about them.
"Hey Shelby, I was just thinking of you!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, I was beatin' my meat."
"ugh, you're another pasterbator!"
by Name Currently Unknown February 6, 2009
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pasturbate

verb,to preach about God constantly when no one wants to hear it. I was in a chat room and someone was preaching, calling everyone names and stuff all in the name of God. One of the chatters said he was pasturbating again.
Can't Ted do anything but pasturbate?
by storm871 March 18, 2009
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Elasterbate

(v) to use a waistband from your underwear to masterbate.
Jimmy was looking to pick up someone, but had no choice but to elasterbate when he got back to his room.
by just some dood January 28, 2010
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Plusterbating

Deficating in one's hand and using it as lubrication to pleasure the male member.
I walked in on my father plusterbating, and the thought and physcial smell of it all made me vomit all over the bathroom.
by hoagy chef October 20, 2010
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plasturbate

To massage your own worldview by rejecting facts or other information that conflicts with it. To deny the validity of all worldviews other than your own.
"He refuses to listen to what other people have to say; he just plasturbates."

"Don't bother talking to her unless you like hearing plasturbation."
by JohnnyReb87 February 9, 2009
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playsturbate

the playing of your favorite game on your PS3 to the point of orgasm so that it results in the lack of a need to masturbate. Much cleaner and less frowned upon than masturbation, also better because you can do it with friends.
Example 1- Dude my thumbs are chaffed from playsturbating daily.

Example 2- The friends that playsturbate together stay together.

Example 3- Mother: "Evan, Kody, Jacob, and Jeremy have been playing Zombies since 7:00 last night, it's 8:00 in the morning."
Father: "I'd rather them playsturbate together than masturbate together.
by zaneyest20 January 9, 2011
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