Landlord white

The universal paint color a landlord sprays on the walls of an apartment between tenants. Apparently blind to any of the hundreds of colors available, a landlord will universally choose “landlord white” harboring under the delusion that is what most tenants would choose if they had a choice.

Landlord: “I gave the apartment a fresh coat of paint before you move in.”
Tenant: “Let me guess: landlord white?”

by Grant Rampus November 28, 2020

landlord

That jackass who demands to be paid at the end of the month, even if you have to sell blood and semen to get the money.

My landlord, may he rott in hell, said I should sell my kidneys for rent...

by Tornadoman July 19, 2005

landlord

1) An owner of scummy fungus-, rodent- or insect-infested property which they rent (often for a long period up front) after giving said property a superficial spring-clean and repaint to fool the naive and desperate university student seeking accommodation. Can be recognised by the electric heaters trained on new carpet in said property which the naive tenant falsely believes will warm them through the winter, but are actually to retard mould growth until point of rental and will be removed in secret once they pay up and their backs are turned. Once said infestation manifests, the landlord takes the rental money and the deposit (known to cognoscenti as "bye-bye money"), and disappears to a remote holiday resort, nary to be seen or heard from again. Alternately he may come back for rent in shorter-term instalments, well aware that the law cannot touch him or that he has terrorised the tenant too thoroughly for the latter to test said law. Frequently claims to need to clear out tenants for the purposes of having the residences fitted with all mod cons, then merely has the rooms subdivided into cubicles too small to swing a cat in. The landlord is intimately familiar with (1) all his rights, and (2) the departure times for all flights to Andalucia and the Canaries (or equivalent Stateside). Typically much beloved by students past and present, especially those who managed to get official campus accommodation.

2) Any crook or anti-social parasite with a good PR agency, hitmen to silence "begrudgers" and/or the ability to run fast.

You paid five grand for that place for a year and it started raining through the ceiling? What do you EXPECT when dealing with landlords?

The guy at the till didn't like you in his restaurant, so he spiked your coffee. What a landlord!

GB II is the worst landlord I've ever heard of. When thousands of other young Americans were risking everything in Nam he was looping the loop over Lubbock.

by Donough Macnamara June 4, 2007

Landlord

1) An opportunistic mentally ill parasite who honestly believes he provides an honest, morally sound business for his community. But in reality, siphons huge amounts of resources from his tenants trapping them into the perpetual gamed cycle of renting rather than owning.

2) A person, company, or firm who owns so much property they can easily set the rental rates of a particular area.

"If I keep paying rent to landlords, I will never afford a house"

"My landlord raised the rent again! I cannot believe I am being priced out of my childhood town!"

by DutchPirate June 10, 2018

Landlord Pipe

The Landlord Pipe is an essential tool used to smoke indoors and avoid detection from landlords, parents, wives or anyone ells you don't want smelling smoke.

The Landlord Pipe can be constructed out of any tube that is available to you, and the length is a matter of preference, but usually, they are made from the inner cardboard tube of a toilet paper roll or paper towel roll and fabric softener sheets. It is stuffed with fabric softener sheets, which act as a filter. you blow your exhaled smoke through the Landlord Pipe and what comes out, is fresh, clean smelling, filtered smoke that wont cause any suspicion.

Ron Bombcronadon wanted to smoke some dank in his bong but did not want his angry wife to smell it. He made a Landlord Pipe and did bong hits all night long and his wife never smelled anything!

by Ron Bombcronadon March 3, 2011

Landlord

Not a job. By definition, a landlord is a property owner, and at best, is an investor. Investment Slacker. Will try to convince others that what they do is, in fact, a "real" "job" by listing responsibilities such as:
Asking for money
Waking up at noon
Drinking box wine before 5 pm
Neglecting significant issues with the rental unit
Raising rent to discourage "the" "element" from renting units
Researching discriminatory practices

Telling people with "real" "jobs" to get "real" "jobs."

Frankie D: Yeah, I dunno Rich, I mean if it makes money--it's a job, right?
Richie B: Wrong Frank. Panhandlers make money, but asking for change on the street isn't a job--neither is being a landlord.

by Merriticus September 23, 2021

Landlord Sprinter

A scamming scum of the earth landlord who becomes an olympic sprinter when young aspiring londoneer's catch on to their scheming 'lord farquadish' ways. Their speed and ability to catch their prey is unmatched within the animal world.

Person 1: Hey even though your house looks like a used bonfire, its suspiciously undervalued for such a lucrative area.
Person 2: You shouldn't have said that, here comes my landlord Julia, she's a landlord sprinter you know.
Person 1: RUN!!!!
Julia: But its edgyyy

by Lord Far'HandsomeShrek'Quad June 19, 2019