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Kwanzaa Cake

Another lame, borderline racist cultural interpretation of "ethnic cuisine" by the Food Network's lily-white blonde hack, Sandra Lee. There is absolutely nothing natural about this cake; everything is store-brought and loaded with additives and artificial ingredients and sugars. Not only is it bloody offensive to people of African descent, but chefs, foodies and doctors all should take umbrage as well. Observe and try to refrain from barfing:

1 (10 to 12-ounce) purchased angel food cake
1 container (16 ounce) vanilla frosting
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 (21-ounce) container apple filling or topping
1 (1.7-ounce) package corn nuts
1/2 cup pumpkin seeds, toasted
1/2 cup popped popcorn

Special Equipment:
Kwanzaa candles
Using a serrated knife, cut cake horizontally into 2 layers. Place bottom cake layer, cut side up, on a serving platter. Mix frosting, cocoa powder, vanilla, and cinnamon in large bowl until combined. Spread about 1/4 of the frosting over top of cake layer on platter. Top with second cake layer, cut side down. Spread remaining frosting evenly over top and sides of cake to coat completely. Spoon apple pie filling into hole in center of cake. Place candles atop cake. Sprinkle top of cake with some corn nuts, pumpkin seeds, and popcorn. Sprinkle remaining corn nuts and pumpkin seeds around base of cake.
Sandra: Tarqueesha, can I tell you, Happy Kwanzaa, by brown sister! YOU are going to LLLLLLLOVE this awesome Kwanzaa Cake that I have prepared to prove that I like people darker than me!

Tarqueesha: Bitch, what the HELL are you trying do with that fucked up cake - kill me? First of all, it's loaded with additives and high fructose corn syrup, bitch! And second of all, I DON'T FUCKING CELEBRATE KWANZAA. BE OUT!!!! Come to my fucking house again, Blondie, and I WILL GET GHETTO ON YOUR ASS AND CUT YOU.

At this point, Sandra, terrified of the angry black woman who obviously doesn't know her place, pees on herself, drops the offending cake, and runs to her car....
by Mixed Race Kid April 13, 2008
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KwanZa

Kwanza is the name of the main river of Angola, originating from one of Angola's many dialects. It has also become the name of the Angolan currency.
- How much does this fruit cost?
- Two...
- Two what? Two Kwanzas?
- No, two million Kwanzas!....
by flyingdutchman November 12, 2003
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Jubilant Kwanza

A phrase to use during the time of Kwanza.

Happy is taken by Chanuka.
Merry is taken by Christmas.

Therefore, Jubilant Kwanza has been coined by me.
Jubilant Kwanza!

Have a Jubilant Kwanza, my brother!

I wish you a Jubilant Kwanza!
by Jackson Chau December 9, 2008
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Kwanzaa

It's the right-on power handshake of the 1990s. Yet another politically correct tactic to get whites to pay attention to non-whites, primarily blacks. It's a fabricated holiday based on race, invented by a convicted felon, which is too third world for most black Americans, too jewish for black muslims, and too stupid for everyone else. Now that's a fine example for the ghetto children of the world!
I'm cwazy for Kwanzaa!
by Duke December 24, 2004
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kwena

Kwena is always a tall, strong, and outrageously handsome man. Born with extremely defined muscles, often compared to Spartans, and is destined for greatness. A prophecy speaks of a Kwena with an afro curled by the angels, a man women can't resist, who will be president of South Africa one day.
e.g Girl 1: Ohmygod, did you see the new guy today?
Girl 2: I did, what a hottie! He must be a Kwena.

e.g 2
Guy: Did you see the race?
Girl: No. How did Usain Bolt do?
Guy: Amazing. He came Kwena Place.

e.g 3
Mom: How did you do in the test?
Son: I got 100%!
Mom: Well done! You did so Kwena.
by Jackson5678965 January 4, 2014
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Charlie Brown Kwanzaa

1) A hilarious dub on Youtube that is basically the black ghetto version of Charlie Brown's Christmas. The holiday season isn't complete without it.

2) The most quotable video ever made.
You have nice soup coolers. Let's lock legs and swap gravy.

-This is Charlie Brown Kwanzaa.
by CrazerDaiser595 December 27, 2010
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Kenza

Is smarter than she looks like (she doesn't even look dumb in the first place).Prolly has a reminder on her phone for 12/13(don't ask why she just does). Most of the time the subjet of discussion with her is Zayn Malik (or the other one I don't know). When she's not talking about what she would like him to do to her, she sometimes likes to say that she's ugly on her private story (I don't know if she knows that she's not tho.) A lot of people on here like to say that kenza is so hot she probably belongs in hell, but I don't think that it's true. For me, she is the sexy version of an easter bunny. She is also a great friend to have around if ur dumb and/or impulsive (talking from experience here). Don't be her friend tho if ur scared to look dumber and/or uglier, because u prolly wil.
Yeah mom, except Kenza, everyone had a bad grade.
I want Kenza's watter beacuse that girl be lookin goooooooood
by fatoumah November 5, 2019
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