JarredHawkins

A completely homophobic homosexual. Like Mr. Garrison, the JarredHawkins won't admit to their sexuality, but will act upon it subconsciously by having sexual relations with various men in the dead of the night.

A JarredHawkins is dangerous to sleep in the same room with, because you never know if you will wake up with a sore ass in the morning.

by Kizzle August 21, 2004

Jarred

Jarred is the guy who love hentai porn, not just any hentai but tenticle porn. He smells like a sour, rotten pussy and is so fucking gullible you could tell him anything and he would believe it to be fact.

Jarred you need to lay off the tentacle porn.

by Clowntitsballsbitch June 13, 2019

Jarred

Big dick
Can fuck a Paige

If your a Paige you should suck him off right now

I want jarred

by Got iris November 13, 2018

The "Jarred" Effect

When shit just somehow works out the best way possible.

Guy 1: Yo, Smith just pulled this bad Viet bitch like it was nothing.
Guy 2: The "Jarred" Effect man...

by Rindor August 25, 2021

Pickle Jarred

To work for a long time to get a sexually stubborn girl's panties, unsuccessfully, only to have another man come along and seal the deal in a much shorter period of time. This is often due to the first man getting the female's "juices flowing" and the second man profiting from it. This series of events is similar to someone working very hard at getting the top off a pickle jar, unsuccessfully, only to have a friend come along and pop the top off almost immediately, thus pickle jarred.

Charlie: "Dude, it's been like 3 months already! Tell me you finally got the panties from Jenny."

David: "Dude I wish I could, some juicehead douche from her gym pickle jarred me!"

Charlie: "All that hard work!"

David: I know dude, I know

by malle122 October 19, 2010

jarred up

To get drunk. To partake in drinking many "jars". Jars is a British colloquialism for a pint of beer or cider.

Did you see Leonard staggering around the pub last night? He was well jarred up!

by David Geetmuckle January 2, 2009

Jarred

an act of being a complete wanker, sometimes used as a more polite alternative for the word shit

" Dude that bitch over there looks jarred!"

"Woah man, your not kidding!"

by DJSARMY October 7, 2011