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Guidette

(n): The female counterpart to the "Guido" specimen. Exclusive to North America, these creatures are usually of Italian-American decsent. A Guidette can be recognized by her orange color, similar to that of the common tangerine, and their either very light or very dark hair. Guidettes have an overly sexual demeanor, and will often emit high pitch shreiks to attract mates. A creature of habit, the Guidette will spend an excessive amount of time on her appearance, and will usually prefer to don very light lipstick (often to referred to by experts as 'Semen Lipstick'), brands such as Ed Hardy, BeBe and Juicy Couture. Scientists believe they are very tolerant to chemical exposure, as Guidettes will use 3-4 cannisters of hairspray in one day alone.

Although reproduction has not been studied in this species, the Guidette will usually have anywhere from 100 to 200 sexual partners in her lifetime. However, some specimens were found to have exceeded these numbers by the age of thirty.

Common health problems reported in the species include, but are not limited to, alcoholism, venarial diseases (Most often strains of hepititis and herpes), sagging and wrinkled skin with a leathery texture and brain death.

(Sources:

The U.S. Wildlife and Game Adminstration
The U.S. Center for Disease Control)
I think I will go to the Zoo today, The Guidette exhibit just opened.
by MArie8773 January 2, 2010
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guidry

A Cajuan last name typically found in southern Lousoniana and parts of Sweden.
Bobby Guidry is the best garbage man in Stockholm!
by Lufenhighmer May 29, 2016
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A book never published on Earth, and until a terrible catastrophe occurred in an alternate probability in 1979, never seen or even heard of by any Earthman.
Nevertheless, a wholly remarkable book.
In fact, it was probably the most remarkable book ever to come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor- of which no Earthman had ever herd either.
No only is it a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one- more popular than "Celestial Home Care Omnibus," better selling than "Fifty-three More Things to Do in Zero Gravity," and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid's trilogy of philosophical blockbusters, "Where God Went Wrong," "Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes," and "Who Is This God Person Anyway?"
In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, The "Hitchhiker's Guide" has already supplanted the great "Encyclopedia Galactica" as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least widely inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects.

1. It is slightly cheaper.

2. It has the words DON'T PANIC inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels."
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Hand Guiding

When engaging in the activity of extensive making out, moving your partner's hand to the spot you want it. That being the lower back, buttocks, theighs, breasts, penis, neck, anywhere. It's a good way to let your man know you're ready to go to the next level without asking. It lets him know it's okay.
She was hand guiding me to that ass. That's how I knew it was okay to get handsy. I waited because I didn't want to until she was okay with it.
by inteligent-delight August 19, 2013
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Guido Kissy Face

A hallmark of Guido culture. It is the act of making a "kissy face" whenever a camera is nearby, annoying the hell out the picture taker, unless he or she subscribes to Guidoism and approves of such weird facial behavior.

This skill is inherent in the Guido genes, and thought by some to be an involuntary reaction to the sight of a camera. Typically it is accompanied by some hand gesture known only within the Guido culture.

For examples and images, I would direct you to the website hotchickswithdouchebags.com for a more comprehensive list of images.
"Oh my God, Mike is making that damn Guido Kissy Face again! He is ruining all of my pictures!"
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Guido doorbell

Guidos, frequently too self important to actually get out of their cars, or even call someone when in front of the house, beep their horns to let the person inside know they have arrived. Perhaps they are under the assumption that everyone else on the block is deaf, or wants a good look at their all around dark tinted windows on a white BMW.
I wish that Dickhole would stop ringing the guido doorbell and just use his phone.
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Guido coffin

Joe: "Shit that chick looks orange as hell"
Gavin: "Yeah, she must have spent to much time in the guido coffin"
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