Guildford

Actually quite a good city. Has pretty much everything you need, and it's small enough to get to know your local chinese/chip shop guy. Plenty of things to do, and fun things too (gasp what a surprise). Don't believe what the other guy said about it, I've gotten far enough to afford broadband and a decent computer. And send my kids to private school. His definition is here Guilford. Really, you can't slag a place off if you can't spell it properly!

You wanna hit the clubs in Guildford?
Ahh, I went to the Guildford Spectrum the other day. Was good.
You know, Guildford is actually a city.
Zomg, that other guy spelt Guildford wrong.

by Charles Mann May 15, 2006

Jeremiah Van Guilder

Musician, founder of maleminded, and tumblr champ. Got dumped by a crazy chick who wanted to "have fun" in college, but is not interested in any of his silly tumblr fangirls. Occasionally offensive but no more offensive than the smell of your snatch. Probably a freak in bed, but you'll never know, and that's why many tumblr-ettes cry themselves to sleep every night. King of entertaining GIFs and would go gay for Brad Pitt. Get some.

Every female on tumblr: "Jeremiah Van Guilder? Oops, panty splash!"

by visual-inspiration@tumblr October 11, 2011

Merchants Guild

A group of wealthy bankrollers who Cohencidentally own >95% of the media and have serious beef with Europeans.

A warm thanks to many members of the Merchants Guild, generously funding and bankrolling these videos. You’re all truly wonderful. Have a good one.

by TheRubyEmerald December 3, 2021

guildford bearded lady

A living legend resident in the Surrey town of Guildford. She is often seen sitting on benches in a leopard print coat. She has long flowing white hair which matches her similarly long flowing white beard. She allegedly eats children but as of yet there is no solid evidence.

Tourist: Holy shit it's a woman with a beard!!
You: No thats the Guildford bearded lady you disrespectful fuck.
Tourist: Oh my god!! Where's my baby gone?!

by Vince September 27, 2004

Guido Kissy Face

A hallmark of Guido culture. It is the act of making a "kissy face" whenever a camera is nearby, annoying the hell out the picture taker, unless he or she subscribes to Guidoism and approves of such weird facial behavior.

This skill is inherent in the Guido genes, and thought by some to be an involuntary reaction to the sight of a camera. Typically it is accompanied by some hand gesture known only within the Guido culture.

For examples and images, I would direct you to the website hotchickswithdouchebags.com for a more comprehensive list of images.

"Oh my God, Mike is making that damn Guido Kissy Face again! He is ruining all of my pictures!"

by Mang Now! January 27, 2010

Guido doorbell

Guidos, frequently too self important to actually get out of their cars, or even call someone when in front of the house, beep their horns to let the person inside know they have arrived. Perhaps they are under the assumption that everyone else on the block is deaf, or wants a good look at their all around dark tinted windows on a white BMW.

I wish that Dickhole would stop ringing the guido doorbell and just use his phone.

by Jan Warren January 24, 2008

Guido coffin

Another name for a tanning bed.

Joe: "Shit that chick looks orange as hell"
Gavin: "Yeah, she must have spent to much time in the guido coffin"

by Leydeman February 17, 2008