assisted hover

Utilizing the hover technique while holding onto the handicap rails for support. Sometimes required when constipation causes an extended need for the hover to occur.

There were no toilet seat covers, but my legs were tired from snowboarding, so I had to utilize the assisted hover.

by metalheadjoel March 11, 2008

Gas Assisted Poop

A poop that is launch using intestinal gasses as a propellant. The expanding gas in the lower intestinal chamber pushes against the turd, thereby making the pooper work less to force it out. Also referred to as a G.A.P.

"Dammit, I've got a job interview in 10 minutes, and I need to take a dump. It had better be a gas assisted poop!!"

"How does John manage to take big dumps after the surgery to fix his hernia?"
"Oh, he usually eats foods high in fiber, so he always gets G.A.P.s, it makes it much easier on him."

by blobular August 19, 2011

assisted

Retarded, Stupid

My teammates are the most assisted motherfuckers I've ever seen.

by Ulost July 26, 2016

accountant-assisted suicide

An elderly person's planning of his own death to correspond to when the money runs out.

I'm gonna commit accountant-assisted suicide way before I turn 90.

by brontosplachna January 4, 2014

assisted living

A place to live where you don't have to do anything. You can nurses and stuff change your bed, do your laundry, and even cool your meals. You can eat free food without paying $50 for groceries and you can have a party every day. This is a place generally for old people, but it will be a great place for a college dormitory.

Old people: Yeah I get to play Bingo every day at the assisted living
College guy: Sweet, I don't have to do anything... these hot nurses can wipe my ass for me.

by Lil Duff June 4, 2008

Assiated

(Adj.) Pertaining or related to the stupidity of the writer/speaker. Usually used after having read something very stupid or not thought out. No common sense involved.

"This has to be the most assiated, stupidly written bankruptcy questionnaire I have ever read"

by Tyler Earman October 26, 2005

assdicted

to be addicted to ass or booty

Man, that girl over there is so assdicting!
Look at Chris - he's staring at that girl's booty...he is soooo assdicted!

by Wanderingpig September 24, 2005