A person who, after at least three years of intense, post-graduate studies, must pass a very difficult proficiency exam (the bar exam) in most states in order to do someting as simple as defend a person against a DWI charge. Of course, this moron that is charged with the DWI is probably the same person who wrote the definition of attorney as "assmonkey," because this human stain has no idea (and only subscribes to juvenile/comedic groupthink) what most attorneys go through to be zealous advocates of their clients.
Naturally, there are bad attorneys, just as all priests don't molest little boys. There are mechanisms in place to ensure that even attorneys accused of misconduct are given the same fair tribunal that everyone else is entitled to before being suspended or disbarred.
Attorneys are some of the most powerful people in the nation: they can defend citizens to prevent them losing their property, liberty, and even their very lives. Some of the more prominent attorneys in the United States were its founding fathers. Others fought for the emancipation of slaves, voting rights for women and minorities, desegregation of public schools and facilities, and the very freedom to call them assmonkeys. Before opening your ignorant mouth in the future and engaging in a "lawyer joke," consider where the nation would be without them. For better or worse, we would not be a civilized society without them.
This definition applies primarily to United States attorneys, and not so much to my learned brethren across the pond, namely barristers and solicitors.
Naturally, there are bad attorneys, just as all priests don't molest little boys. There are mechanisms in place to ensure that even attorneys accused of misconduct are given the same fair tribunal that everyone else is entitled to before being suspended or disbarred.
Attorneys are some of the most powerful people in the nation: they can defend citizens to prevent them losing their property, liberty, and even their very lives. Some of the more prominent attorneys in the United States were its founding fathers. Others fought for the emancipation of slaves, voting rights for women and minorities, desegregation of public schools and facilities, and the very freedom to call them assmonkeys. Before opening your ignorant mouth in the future and engaging in a "lawyer joke," consider where the nation would be without them. For better or worse, we would not be a civilized society without them.
This definition applies primarily to United States attorneys, and not so much to my learned brethren across the pond, namely barristers and solicitors.
John: "What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?"
Jeff: "I don't know."
John: "One is a bottom-feeder, and the other is a catfish."
Jeff: "You are an ignorant idiot worthy of my wrath, but before I unleash it, go to www.urbandictionary.com and educate yourself on what attorneys really are, fucktard."
Jeff: "I don't know."
John: "One is a bottom-feeder, and the other is a catfish."
Jeff: "You are an ignorant idiot worthy of my wrath, but before I unleash it, go to www.urbandictionary.com and educate yourself on what attorneys really are, fucktard."
by BigZaccyStyle July 19, 2006
Get the attorney mug.Bob: Did you hear about Tim getting arrested?
Phil: No, what happened?
Bob: He tried to jack-up a convenience store last night.
Phil: Why did he do that?
Bob: He was trying to get into his client's head.
Phil: Oh, he is a method attorney.
Phil: No, what happened?
Bob: He tried to jack-up a convenience store last night.
Phil: Why did he do that?
Bob: He was trying to get into his client's head.
Phil: Oh, he is a method attorney.
by advobri August 1, 2007
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aetorn • attorney • Aeternus • aetonks • aeternex • attorney general • Actornaut • Aetern • aeternamory • Aeternarchy
The highest-ranking law enforcement officer in the United States of America. He or she is appointed by the current President of the United States to serve at the cabinet level for as long as the appointing President is in power. He or she must be confirmed by the United States Congress before he or she can take the oath of office.
by Nicolai August 11, 2004
Get the attorney general mug.by Deathslostlove February 3, 2023
Get the judge from ace attorney mug.A cynical, sarcastic, code monkey Admin. He's the no nonsense, code expert that won't hesitate to smack some common sense into you. He fights against things like stupidity and poor grammar daily. He is generally sporting a paper fan, with a furry black boredom atop his head. He's an anti-social creature that can only be seen civilly speaking to intelligent people, ie his clone HellsAngel
by KeKe_RiKi January 11, 2009
Get the Aeterno mug.by Memory_001 June 27, 2021
Get the Ace attorney mug.A hybrid word for the "Astronauts" that were supposed to be on the moon. But since the moon landing was a hoax, the were just actors in an elaborate TV production.
You can see the wires helping that "Actornaut" jump.
The film is slowed down to make it seem like the "Actornaut" is floating.
The FBI will eliminate you if you use the word "Actornaut" in an official document.
The film is slowed down to make it seem like the "Actornaut" is floating.
The FBI will eliminate you if you use the word "Actornaut" in an official document.
by Man on the Moonhoax February 6, 2010
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