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Absentee Printing

The much maligned practice of printing eleventy billion pages in a busy computer lab and then leaving them unattended on a laser printer's paper tray for long periods of time. Absentee printers often confuse and annoy their fellow computer lab patrons as their excessive printing quickly buries the print jobs of other lab patrons.

This practice often forces harried college students to waste precious time sifting through dozens of pages of random senior theses, flyers, newsletters, and other miscellaneous crap in order to find their term papers, tragically thwarting last minute attempts to finish and print homework 5 minutes before class starts.

Chronic absentee printers often sit blissfully at their computers browsing Facebook for extremely long periods of time before retrieving their documents.

Absentee printing is endemic to college computer labs the world over.
Bob stormed in late to his philosopy class because his essay got caught up in the fray of absentee printing.

Jane stood hovering over the printer for five minutes as he waited for the 100 page print job of an anonymous absentee printer to hopelessly spew out of the printer.
by iNetter December 1, 2009
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Strategic Absence

Noun

When you skip school on a day you have a really big assignment due, such as a project or a report. Can also apply to exams. Very common in high school and secondary school
Dude, the project's due tomorrow, are you done? No man, I'm gonna pull a strategic absence tomorrow to save my ass
by dachyr May 2, 2010
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Related Words

Absenteecrown3

Professional minecraft controller player
Very popular for being good on 60fps
Omg its absenteecrown3. He is so hard to beat at minecraft
by LemonTurtle4 March 13, 2021
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Absinterklaas

Every year around the 5th of december the Dutch celebrate sinterklaas by doing a kind of secret santa that involves writing poems for and giving presents to friends and family. Absinterklaas is a man similar in most respects to sinterklaas, except he is woke and does not keep black slaves.

In the drinking game Absinterklaas, a usually dysfunctional group of friends writes insulting poems for each other and make each other drink shots of Absinthe according to an arbitrary and unfair set of rules. For instance, one person always has to drink when others do. The game ends when everyone has either passed out or is running around naked.

This year Absinterklaas was thinking
How many shots John would be drinking


Absint was mentioned, everybody drink!
And John drinks twice.
by Absintpiet December 7, 2019
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absence of shower syndrome

A disease usually refering to a person who smells like a skunked beer, combined with body odor, fishy pubic hair, and dried anal seapage displaying a general lack of hygiene that would otherwise make a radius of 25 feet from the person inpalatable.
Bob the Hobo + Your Mom + Your Nasty French Teacher + Britney Spears= A.S.S.

Man you smell like ass
I know I have Absence of Shower syndrome
by krikeymynipple April 7, 2010
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abso-fucking-lutely

Absolutely, with bells on! Has to be said with emphasis.
The UD is abso-fucking-lutely the best slang dictionary on the net!
by w00fdawg September 24, 2005
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absnasm

"horrible"

Also an antonym of "orgasm". Origination unkwown.
I hate vegetables. They're absnasm.

The date didn't go well at all. It couldn't have been any worse. It was absnasm.
by chickpeasoup May 4, 2007
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