statusitis

The act of posting false details of an illness to cover yourself with your work friends when you aren't really sick and are just blowing off work.

friend at loud bar: Hey, I thought you had a fever and were puking!

faker: No, that was just a case of statusitis.

by whimsychic November 25, 2010

Statustician

A regular Facebook user who specializes in making statuses that get a ton of likes. This person spends at least 1 hour per day thinking of, and producing, multiple "witty" or "cute" Facebook statuses in order to get the satisfaction of 20 or more likes. After a while, the Statustician begins to accumulate regular "likers" - people who will like the status no matter what it is about. In addition, the statustician will "like" every positive comment on their status and delete any negative ones.

Sam: Wow did you see emily's status last night?
Jeremy: Yeah, it got like 50 likes, and it wasn't even that good of a status.
Sam: What a Statustician...

by cohencock November 11, 2011

statisticock

Coming from the latin status cokkus. Meaning mathematician's PHAT DONGG

e.g: Yo I sucked my professor's statisticock last night, that shit was massive

by CunTpoRN1234567890 October 15, 2019

Statistics

An excuse for your teams shortcummings in big games.

Me: told you Boise would beat your asses
Virginia Tech fan: so what, statistics show blah blah blah (useless info)
Me: YOU STILL LOST
months later..
Me: Stanford will clobber you
same fan: we have the best offense in the acc we'll win
days later...
Me: told you so
same fan: well statistics show.....
Me: jesus christ

by 87fan October 8, 2011

Statist

Anyone holding the paradoxical belief that people are more competent to govern each other than they are to make individual choices.

"They either want a war on drugs or a war on guns or a war on speech or a war on business. Stupid statists."

by word_g33k February 17, 2013

Statistical Extraploitation

To exploit a sports statistic by extrapolating it over an entire season, despite a tiny sample size. This is wildly popular on the second day of the Major League Baseball season.

D-Bag: Hey did you see the opener yesterday? Soriano hit two home runs. Christ, if he keeps that up he'll hit 324 home runs this year!!

Guy#2: And if you keep your Statistical Extraploitations up, you'll be more of a D-bag.

by TR Slyder April 6, 2009

Statistics

The math course that is essentially the lovechild mathematics and English... And sometimes psychology.

Student 1: "Dude! I get to take statistics this year!"

Student 2: "...What? Why are you excited!?"

Student 1: "Because I love math!"

Student 2: "...That isn't math."

by PolarBearKorean July 30, 2011