An ultra wealthy town in Northern california. It has some of the highest rated schools in the nation, and host many billionaires. Seriously, the poor in saratoga have only 1 HD flat panel. The only town in the world where one can play punch lambo, rather than punch bug, there are that many rare cars there. Everyone in the area is a certifiable genius. Even the guys who smoke weed everyday will get into a 4 year college.
by Saratogan January 4, 2011
Get the Saratoga mug.The most boring place in the world for the young, fabulous, and broke. For anyone who doesn't live here, I'm sure that Sarasota seems like a beautiful and wonderful place to vacation. But living here sucks. Basically, this is where rich, snotty old farts come to die. And irritate the hell out of the locals.
On any given day, you can see the blond, rich, family of four that just moved here from Michigan, ruining the sunset on Siesta Key, to take a family portrait in their "Floridian" white shirts and khaki pants. Shopping is a hobby, because there is nothing else to do. And, the shopping malls, now owned by the Texas-based Westfield, are now overrun by bored-out-of-their-minds preteens with Daddy's credit cards in their hot little hands. Buisnesses that have thrived here for 30-plus years are being driven out by greedy speculators. Every other home is for sale, with no one buying them, because the real estate bubble burst. I guess millionares don't feel like purchasing a home on Siesta Key, where driving one block on Memorial Day weekend takes four hours, and you are more likely to have your homeowners insurance taken away than a dog getting fleas. Then, once you're done playing the "hunker-down" drinking game during the latest hurricane, you can go to Walmart for the sixth time this week. The best thing about Sarasota is that is easy to spot tourists. Tourists, if you're at the beach, are the ones who bring two giant coolers, a giant bag of sandcastle building tools, a huge umbrella or tent, and about ten bottles of suntan lotion. And they do this to be at the beach for an hour. Outside of Siesta, they're the ones yelling at waitresses, cashiers, and just about everyone else in the service industry. Then they drive 30 miles an hour on US-41, and call it Tamiami Trail, to go for ice cream on St. Armands circle. They take pictures of the "art" that blocks the view of Marina Jack, without realising that the boats anchored in the bay are inhabited by people whom are considered homeless. Sarasota is the most segregated county in all of Florida, and the city planners are trying desperately to push out anyone who doesn't make at least 100K a year. But then again, they are too busy designing parking lots that are only easily navigated by the secret service.
by Knitakitty June 15, 2007
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Hell’s waiting room. Voted best place to die, 2018. Voted Best place to retire during a global Pandemic, 2020 & 2021, consecutively. Upscale coastal South Florida Gulf resort town tethered to its past glory as the home of the freak Ringling Brothers Circus. Populated by wealthy retirees, snowbirds, and witness protection clients. Visitors notoriously have no access to the internet. They must rely on interrupting local residents as if they were staff in an all-inclusive resort.
Zero local economy or unique character outside of Siesta Key Beach. Substandard medical infrastructure. Beach is frequently named America’s top destination within a 3 year time period. Parking is impossible when the heat index is below 110°F.
Shopping is the main activity aside from the beach. Retail consists of the usual national chains, big malls, Tommy Bahamaesque haberdasheries, and Chinese-imported seashell-laden tchotchke shops. Approximately four restaurants have kitchens that are open past 9pm.
Once known for an inexplicably giant statue of a sailor kissing a nurse on VJ Day, the piece was relocated to make way for a trendy 19-way roundabout at the city’s waterfront.
The city’s future looks bright though, as two hotels have been approved for construction on Siesta Key. This has inflamed the relationship between Island residents and the city though, because improving the single tourist attraction for the entire county seems anathema to those who reside near said beach.
Zero local economy or unique character outside of Siesta Key Beach. Substandard medical infrastructure. Beach is frequently named America’s top destination within a 3 year time period. Parking is impossible when the heat index is below 110°F.
Shopping is the main activity aside from the beach. Retail consists of the usual national chains, big malls, Tommy Bahamaesque haberdasheries, and Chinese-imported seashell-laden tchotchke shops. Approximately four restaurants have kitchens that are open past 9pm.
Once known for an inexplicably giant statue of a sailor kissing a nurse on VJ Day, the piece was relocated to make way for a trendy 19-way roundabout at the city’s waterfront.
The city’s future looks bright though, as two hotels have been approved for construction on Siesta Key. This has inflamed the relationship between Island residents and the city though, because improving the single tourist attraction for the entire county seems anathema to those who reside near said beach.
After his divorce, we never heard from him again. He was last seen in Sarasota working one of those metal-detector things on #siestakeybeach trying to make rent money.
by Imoknu January 13, 2022
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by S.Swati May 20, 2019
Get the Saraswati mug.by Harvey Greenberg April 4, 2005
Get the sarsour mug.Sarasa is a funny little Japanese girl. She loves using dirty words in everyday conversation and teaching bad Japanese words to naive Americans. She can't pronounce the word Hilarious but when she tries it's "Hiralious".
by MakinBaconPanCakes September 30, 2014
Get the sarasa mug.A school that encourages kids to act like dicks and tell other people what to do. Also encourages small mindedness and promotes heavy-handed solutions to problems. Effectivly summed up as ridiculous, it would really be funny were it not so sad.
by Jackeshamonesha July 11, 2009
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