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Ratzenberger Theory of Neuro-natural Selection

Also called 'The Buffalo Theory' is a hypothesis by Dr. John Deszo Ratzenberger who believed that by imbibing certain amounts of alcohol, an individual could increase their intelligence. Specific areas of study included problem solving, memory, and imagination.
Dr. John Deszo Ratzenberger, explains his theory to his colleague Dr. George Robert Wendt"
"...you see, (Dr. Wendt), it's (the Ratzenberger Theory of Neuro-natural Selection) like this: A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That, Wendt, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
by boo boo the bear April 27, 2008
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