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peetard

Someone who walks into a Peets coffee shop asking for a tall skinny frappucino with chocolate dinosaur shaped sprinkles.
Peetnik: Hi, welcome to peet's coffee, how can I help you?
Peetard: (on cell phone)I'll have a tall skinny frappucino
Peetnik: We don't carry frappucinos, but we have a similar ice blended drink called a freddo, would you like a medium with nonfat milk?
Peetard:(puts down cell phone) what!? no TALL, SKINNY,FRA-PPUU-CINOO! and i need extra chocolate sprinkles! --in dinosaur shapes!!
Peetnik: Sorry ma'am, you're not in starbucks, this is PEET'S Coffee and Tea, look around you.
Peetard: OH My god, i'm so retarded! i just walked to a corner and expected to be inside of a starbucks cause they are literally on every corner of this world, why is this here? i'm so confused,why am i here? the walls seem to be shrinking. Are they shrinking? why is there classical music? am i dying? things are too simple and pure here, i don't want to die. God,Why!!???!! i crave the sugar!
by ebolabobbet February 28, 2008
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pétard

Another french word to define a joint.
Il m'explose la tête ce pétard !
by Marianne January 18, 2004
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Related Words

Peetard

Someone who urinates on themselves unintentionally
Tanner is such a peetard that he quit basketball because he was embarrassed
by Tsukiyomeme November 30, 2018
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pretard

An idiot who has not progressed to full "retardation". A person who acts stupid but has the capacity to be normal and sane. Almost on the verge of being incapable of running your own life.
Jerry was such a pretard at the game; he wouldn't stop bothering Claire the whole time, asking her inappropriate questions and flashing vulgar hand gestures.
by J. Walt December 12, 2008
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petarded

family guy's,peter,sufers from this illness.petarded is the name of one of the episodes where peter finds out he is retarded.(I won't tell u the rest,it'll ruin it for u)
you're so petarded.

stop being such a petard.
by Ching January 8, 2006
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Hoisted by my own petard

To be foiled by your own advantage(i.e., explosives prematurely explode).

The history of the phrase comes from the uses of a petard in a seige (a petard is a volitile early explosive capable of bringing down castle walls). To be hoisted is to be lifted or sent up, which is generally what would happen to you if you were near a petard when it goes off (and that's if you got off lucky).

The term, "Hoisted on my own petard" is incorrect (unless of course you were pulled up while on a petard, but that'd be clinicly stupid) in that the meaning is altered. This bastardization is built upon the assumtion that a petard is a spear.
Sergeant- "Did you plant all the claymores Corporal Johnson?"
Corporal- "Yes sir."
Sergeant- "Where did you plant them."
Corporal- *Looks around shiftily* "Ummmm..."
Sergeant- "You don't know do you?"
Corporal- "No."
Sergeant- "Hoisted by my own petard."

Synonym- see clusterfuck
by ArKainicW July 9, 2010
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Pretard

a person who enjoys the hackery spewed out by Kevin J Anderson (The Hack) and Brian Herbert (the Other Guy).
"What, he likes McDune? what a pretard!"
by Baraka Bryan December 15, 2008
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