Maury Povich

besides Jerry Springer Maury hosts the best talk show. the funniest topic is the paternity tests because whenever the test comes negative there's always drama. other topics are fat babies, cheating husbands, man or woman?, etc.

Taniqua: Quatarius I know you the daddy. I only slept wit u and no one else.
Quatarius: *itch please, you's a skank ho. Always been partyin' & bein wit dem dudes.
Maury: Taniqua, are you sure Quatarius is the father?
Taniqua: Maury, I'm 150% positive he's Iesha's daddy. He gots the eyes, the chin, the earlobe...
Maury: When it comes to little Iesha, Quatarius, you are not the father!
Audience: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Quatarius: What now?! I told you! I told you! YEAH!
*~Taniqua runs backstage sobbing, Maury follows, Quatarius jumps for joy~*
Maury: It's okay. You're now one step closer to finding the father. Who's next on your list.
Taniqua: Well (sniff) Quatarius was #62. Kareem has to be the daddy!

by woobie June 13, 2005

Maury Show

a talk show which was originally a game show titled "Whose da Daddy?". Only features racial stereotypes who have untold amounts of sex with their entire neighborhood and can't find out who is the father of their badly named child. So instead of having any amount of dignity and privately going to a clinic, they embarass themselves on national television and have Maury proclaim that the deadbeat scumbag man is or is not the father. The woman runs to the back and cries, the scumbag dances on stage and Maury exploits these women for his own selfish gain. It is actually pretty entertaining to watch.

Maury: When it comes to 10 month old zudafitriashoshumba, Thuga you are not the father!

Thuga: I TOLD YA, I TOLD YA, I TOLD YA (dances)

Lafunda: (runs to the backstage, crying, camera does extreme closeup) OH MAW GAWD, I THOWTH YOU WAS THE DAD, OH MAW GAWD, OH GAWD!!! I NEVER HAD SEX WID ANYBODY, BUT THAT ONE OTHER BUSLOAD OF PEOPLE I DIDINT KNOW!!!

Maury: we'll help you find the father, on the MAURY SHOW.

Announcer: The maury show was paid for by the following.

by Mr. Zimpy November 23, 2009

Maury Math

When a ghetto hoe only has 4 kids but goes on the Maury Povich show with 12 potential baby daddies.

Nydia took me and my whole crew on Maury to find out who the father of DaShawn was. I guess that hoe done some Maury Math and she fucked all of us.

by TigerSkeet April 14, 2017

maury

The most brain-damaging show on the planet.

Paul: I just watched Maury, and now my brain's starting to melt!

Akoua: Ya I know.

by Akoua-san July 19, 2007

maury

A talk show, hosted by Maury Povich, which usually focuses on fat woman who cheated on their lovers with their own brothers, and they're not sure if their babies are theirs.

"Robert, you are NOT the father"
-Maury

by Maybelline April 9, 2006

majura

a hot babe who plays hard to get but really just wants all dem boys. Don't be fooled, if you want her, go for it. she'll give in eventually,

woah, did she just pull a majura on you?

by dkja May 14, 2015

The Maury

The Maury - The act of 50+ men ejaculating into a container such as a bucket, to have a woman stir it using her hands and then precede to masturbate using said hand until conception is achieved. Ten months later all members of the activity are to appear on "The Maury Show" to figure out who is the dad (looser), and who has to pay child support. A.K.A. "Russian Roulette - Family version"

Jim got drunk last night and did The Maury with his sister, wish him luck.

by Dr.Frev October 20, 2010