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Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to his kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing God said to them was: "Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam asked.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit", said God.

"Forbidden fruit? Really? Where is it?" Adam and Eve asked, jumping up and down excitedly.

"It's over there," said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later God saw the kids having a forbidden fruit break and he was very angry.

"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the First Parent asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you do it?" God asked exasperatedly.

"I dunno," Adam answered.

God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. But there is a reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give your children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be so hard on yourself. If God had trouble handling his children, what makes you think it should be a piece of cake for you?
Kids are the flowers of life ... on their parents' graves.
by alvit May 17, 2009
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something i plan on being forever.
adult: im so mature look at my i am so cool.
kid: fuck it.
by kid August 9, 2003
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Related Words
1) A child. Something that isn't human yet but might grow to be someday.

2) Word that comes after "Hey" when you're tired of saying "Hey you" or "Hey there"

3) Mild term of friendly endearment, usually used with the ladies or someone younger than you.
1) I'd rather be capped in the head than have a goddamn kid!

2) Hey kid!

3) How you doin kid? Everything alright?
by Blackwolf Morrow October 1, 2005
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The funloving human who may brighten up your day or bring dark clouds of deception and irritation.
Grandma: your kids are so cute!

Mom:These kids aren't mine... This is Lucy and Lucifer jr.
by Broben5 December 30, 2017
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KID is a bad kid. KID is not a disciplined kid either. KIDs have extremely bad luck however, so dont laugh if u see them lickin walls for dinner. Also the last thing u want in ur burger king restaurant is KID
kid 1: Man let me go to burger king im hungry
kid 2: no KID is in it
KID: me hunger
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A period of your life in which you are pretty much high 24/7.
This food tastes amazing, this music sounds awesome, and I'm going to fall asleep easily tonight because I'm a kid.
by Ryan Racioppo July 26, 2008
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