Jehovah's Witnesses

A cult that practices shunning of former members and refusal of blood transfusions. They feel free to preach endlessly to you, but will not read anything you provide them on alternative opinions believing it to be originating from Satan.
Jehovah's Witnesses are not allowed to speak to former members, even if they are family. Some chose to leave, others may have been disfellowshipped, a form of excommunication.
Problem:
If you were once a JW and now have learned new information, how can you enlighten current JWs if they are not allowed to talk to you. That is why they are a cult.
by rodneyfaile October 20, 2006
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Jehovah's Witnesses

a bunch of boring mothafuckers who dont selebrate birthdays
they feel it is there goal to anooy the fuck out of normal people
ben- did you talk to those Jehovah's Witnesses bible fags
christian- nah just told the fags i was buddist, stupid cocks
by cwk April 05, 2006
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Jehovah's Witnesses

Wicked evil people who show up on your doorstep at 3 in the morning and ask stupid questions such as (Note: the proper responses are listed below questions):

1. Have you found Jesus?
PR: Why NO. Why don't you come in and help me look for him? Sumbitch must be around here somewhere!
2. Would you like a copy of Watchtower?
PR: Thank you sir/madam. I needed some more kindling. (take publication, walk over to fireplace, and throw it in).
3. Would you like to donate to our ministry here in (insert town here)?
PR: I would but I am opposed to A. Panhandling B. Government Controlled Religious freaks.
Man them damned Jehovah's Witnesses came knockin again this morning.

What'd you do bro?

Answered the door naked.
by Unholy Jester121 September 05, 2009
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Jehovah's Witnesses

A religious sect of Christianity, now deemed a cult, that spreads itself to as many people as possible. Claiming the end of the world is nearing, they say it is their duty to preach to all to save them. Only Jehovah's Witnesses will survive the end. Though they may seem peaceful, nice and loving, "hardcore" Jehovah's Witnesses are infact nearly terrorist, violent, hateful, racist and overall, disgusting people. They spread anti-semitism, believe in hating the United States, Israel, the United Nations and homosexuals. They previously have been on 20/20 for sexual molestation charges within the church. They are one step lower than terrorist extremeists and preach many falsehoods that they cannot backup. The horrors do not stop there, as charges of molstation and racism are only the beginning. Along with those come, trespassing, assault, harassment, battery, terrorism, manslaughter and hate crimes. They believe in not accepting vital medical help such as organ transplants and blood transfusions and if a JW parent's child is critically injured and needs such a medical treatment, the religion prohibits it. The child, even if could be saved and fully recover, is told they must die.
I got visited by Jehovahs Witnesses today, they tried blocking me from shutting the door on them.

Those damn Jehovah's Witnesses keep harassing me every weekend.

Quick! Shut the door and lock it, the Jehovahs Witnesses are coming. Call the police!
by Liberation May 22, 2007
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Jehovah's Witnesses

Crazy fools who suck all the joy from life and will try to sneak in under the radar and do the same to you.
Me: Hey, can I have a random wheel barrel of fruit and vegetables too?
JW:No! You're Methodist and an impure demon!
by Kruger January 01, 2005
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Jehovah's Witnesses

Jehovah's Witnesses are irritating god botherers
Jehovah's Witnesses: god! god! listen to me god! oi god!

god: oh piss off and help an old lady across the road or something!

by sniper_productions December 03, 2005
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Jehovah's Witnesses

A religion with over 8 million members all over the world. They come from hundreds of ethnic and language backgrounds, yet are united by common goals. Above all, they want to honor Jehovah, the God of the Bible and the Creator of all things. They do their best to imitate Jesus Christ and are proud to be called Christians. Each of them regularly spend time helping people learn about the Bible and God’s Kingdom. Because they witness, or talk, about Jehovah God and his Kingdom, they are known as Jehovah’s Witnesses.

They are one of the few religions to go door to door in order to preach. Despite common misconceptions, they are not a cult, and do not force anyone to join their religion. They are honest, respectful, peaceful people.

They have an official website: jw.org. Any other website not linked to on the official site cannot be considered a valid source of information regarding Jehovah's Witnesses, as they tend to have biased opinions disguised as facts about JWs.
Person 1: What religion are you?
Person 2: I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
by Kensurou May 07, 2017
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