Jesus fucked a monkey!

Phrase used when a pub door swings back and nearly dislodges the pyramid of glasses being carried back to table, or when a twat cyclist speeds through a red light at a pedestrian crossing and almost kills you, or practically anytime 'fuckin hell', 'you fuckin twat', or 'shiiiiiiit' simply doesn't cut the mustard.
Used sparingly, it's effective, offensive and infectious.

Jesus fucked a monkey!, watch out twat.

by TauntonJah November 5, 2019

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Jesus Fucking Christ

When the church or a person are actually fucking themselves over.

Jesus fucking Christ, it's like he's fucking himself in the ass while sucking his own dick!

by kariusvega May 28, 2018

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Jesus's fuck thang

The organ that Jesus used to fuck all those bitches. That's why there are so many Christians in the world.

Jesus wipped out Jesus's fuck thang so much, even the son of god got chaffed.

by Big Baby Jesus October 1, 2004

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jesus fuck christ

What I say when something so incredibly stupid that the world stops happens.

Jesus fuck Christ, did you see that motherfucker cut me off?

by meetthetony September 10, 2005

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Jesus fucking christ

A statement of pure, raw, and utter disbelief. Usually used when you see something absolutely fucking cursed and you can't think of anything asides from "Jesus Fucking Christ."

"So, bro. Did you hear about the whole accident where that kid blew up an entire fucking supermarket?"

"..."

"Bro, you okay?"

"Jesus Fucking Christ.

by RiceOfCourse November 26, 2022

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Jesus Fucking Christ on the Cross

Perhaps the most offensive, non-racial phrase. It can be used as an exclamation when one is under stress. The phrase is synonymous with "Jesus Christ."

Jesus fucking Christ on the cross, I forgot to take the trash out last night!

by lemonlime69 November 6, 2014

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