Disciplinary Hearing

Something you'll be called to at some point during your working life.

It'll be sold to you as an opportunity to state your case, but in reality the outcome will have been decided weeks before you go to the meeting.

You are strongly advised to take appropriate action and treat the hearing with the scorn and derision it deserves.

HR Manager:

We investegated our concerns that you'd been sleeping with our new secretary in the stationery cupboard and found grounds to convene a disciplinary hearing. Do you have anything to say?

Employee:

Man, she was a Brett Hart - the best there was, the best there is and the best there ever will be.

HR Manager:

I don't think you realise the seriousness of the allegations against you. I'd suggest you reconsider your comments.

Employee:

Do you think there's enough room to fit a four poster bed in there?

The floor's uncomfortable.

HR Manager escorts employee off the premises.

Manager:

Do you think he knew he was screwed before the meeting?

HR Manager:

Sounds like he was well screwed. That secretary looks like a dirty slut. I'm already looking forward to 'discipling' her.

by HR_Advisory March 22, 2011

hotring

asspain the next day from eating spicy ethnic food. Actually enjoyed by some brave souls.

"Throw some more habs into that chili"
"No way, bro, they give me hotring."

by Chiefnutz October 17, 2005

Bad hearing

Something a Ms Eminem Bumshit has.

*bell rings*
Eminem: When is the bell going to ring?
Person: Didn’t you hear is ring?
Eminem: I know, I can’t believe it is spring.
People: She has bad hearing

by Hehwe September 7, 2023

hearings

it is a kind of meeting, organized by the government before making a decision.In general, some related public are informed to attend the hearings to discuss the affairs and provide their suggestions. and after the hearings, the authority make a decision.

for example,if the goverment decide to raise the price of the taxi, it is essential to hold hearings.

by netfree August 26, 2006

selective hearing

one posseses this quality when they hear only what they would like to hear.

"Jimmy, do the laundry and the you can go to the movies."

"Sweet! I can go to the movies!"

"AFTER YOU DO THE LAUNDRY!"

"What? You never said i had to do the laundry."

"I swear, you have selective hearing"

by amrgkm January 29, 2009

e-hoarding

To keep all your electronic files and messages and other "data" until it piles up for no good reason, such as saving ridiculous numbers of email messages that you'll never look at again.

if I don't give up e-hoarding and do a mailbox purge, I'm going to exceed my 7GB gmail limit!

by brooke's eye March 19, 2010

Hoarding the jerky

The intense build up of semen in men due to lack of sex or the much needed occasional jerk off. Has been known to cause much more serious conditions such as soggy balls or the overwhelming sensation that the ball sac feel tight and weighted down.

Man! Latisha hasn't had sex with me in weeks! I'm afraid that I might hurt myself if I keep hoarding the jerky like this!

by Ju ju man March 4, 2010