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she/he looked better on facebook/myspace syndrome 

When one uses either facebook or myspace to look at people or try to meet people and they see the picture of a good looking person. Once they meet up the one that thought the person on myspace or facebook was good looking, find out that that person is infected with "She/he looked better on facebook/myspace syndrome".
guy1:hey, dude... i met this girl on myspace and she looks hot.
guy2:yeah.... i've seen her and she has the she/he looked better on facebook/myspace syndrome.
guy1:shit...

He Put the Team on his Back 

To do something both amazing and impossible for the overall benefit of your team, such as carrying victory and "dat shit" 99 yards with a broken leg, avoiding Darren SHAARPUH, crossing the plane, and getting a touchdown.
This is why I say Im one of the hardest niggas in Madden. I have one of the most best offenses in Madden history. Look at dis shit. Look at dat nigga. Greg Jennings caught dat shit, prolly last play of the game. But dawg, earlier doh, this nigga broke his FUCKIN LEG. How is he running with a broken. leg? Look at dis nigga holdin this shit doh. Dawg, HE PUT THE TEAM ON HIS BACK!

ballin on em aint he doh 

When some joker is doing the illest, coolest, flyest things possible
Man Bird was ballin on em aint he doh. Aint he doh!!!

He got that shit on tho 

When somebody has drip
J: Ay look at this man’s drip!
B: Naah he got that shit on tho

Jewish man wearing a traffic cone on his head while beating his meat naked on the side of the street of downtown LA while 6 to 8 members of the local Mosque watch as he then proceeds to smother ham all over his penis. 

A Jewish man wearing a traffic cone on his head while beating his meat naked on the side of the street of downtown LA while 6 to 8 members of the local Mosque watch as he then proceeds to smother ham all over his penis is basically a Jewish man who wears a traffic cone; generally used in road work and diverting traffic, on his head which is the uppermost region of the human body. Whilst he masturbates his penis on the side of a Downtown LA street while 6 to 8 Muslims from the local mosque watch him smother ham on his penis
Jew 1: did you hear that Jewish man wearing a traffic cone on his head while beating his meat naked on the side of the street of downtown LA while 6 to 8 members of the local Mosque watch as he then proceeds to smother ham all over his penis.
Jew 2: No.

I'm a 20-something Hispanic man who has uncontrollable lust for women who spend over 100 dollars on collecting waifus and hours and realized that he can't collect a certain waifu due to random number generator 

Translates to I'm Josie, and 100 dollars is an understatement.
I'm a 20-something Hispanic man who has uncontrollable lust for women who spend over 100 dollars on collecting waifus and hours and realized that he can't collect a certain waifu due to random number generator is something you wouldn't say on a first date.