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Hemorrhoids

Bleeding from the asshole.
My hemorrhoids are stinging and have stained my jocks.
by Ausstralian November 14, 2007
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facebook hemorrhoid

The red swelling you get on your ass from sitting on the chair too long waiting for someone to comment on your Facebook wall.
Man I was waiting for her to reply my comment for 2 hours and now I have a facebook hemorrhoid.
by seans November 28, 2007
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John Wayne hemorrhoids

The sound of large amounts of change banging against one's leg whilst wearing loose trousers. So named because of the similarity with the sound of cowboy boot spurs.
"I went to the shop this morning to buy a packet of Apple Hubba Bubba. I only had a £20 note but they had no fivers or tenners! So I've now got a pocket of Cunt's Tender and a very bad case of the John Wayne hemorrhoids."
by Skinbro July 20, 2008
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Hemorrhoid porn

When someone has a large hemorrhoid and participates in anal love
Dude is that blood ?
Yea I went all in that hemorrhoid porn.
by Breyez13 August 13, 2017
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I have serious hemorrhoids!

A pickup line made from the gods.

You can put it on a mug and every woman that sees it immediately falls in love with you.
Guy: I have serious hemorrhoids!
Girl: Ew!
Guy: :(
GIrl: Im just kidding its so hot
by SpaghettiLover609 December 16, 2022
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haemorRoid

haemorRoid. Pronounced like Haemorrhoid with an emphasis on the second R which is always a capital letter.

Refers to Android and Android users who know nothing but carry-on like they are Neo from the Matrix.

Having scrapped through the Microsoft Certification, They know how to install software using an installer, replace component parts in a computer, and say 'have you tried turning it off and on again?' (interchangeable with 'do you want to go large?").

They claim to be heavy-weight coders, but most contemporary 13 years have more knowledge than them.

They will claim that there chosen mobile OS is superior to all others, even though the reality is they either can not afford, or have never used the best alternative to HaemorRoid. Most statements start with 'I hate Apple'.
eg 'I hate Apple, what's the time?' or 'I hate Apple, do you want fries with that?'

They have dire dead end jobs where the best they can hope for is a promotion to help desk.

They believe everything that Google (better known as Screw-U-gle) and Shamesung tell them. Even when Screw-U-gle and Shamesung are caught lying, they still promote the lie as truth.

Are capable of time travel as they believe everything copied from Apple was on the HaemorRoid first.

They claim haemorRoid is more secure due to the fact the average user checks the source code, but after 2 years not one of them found the HeartBleed bug.

See: Mouth-breather/compulsive masturbator
Roid-Rager: "I hate Apple, Android was first at everything, Googles/Samsungs marketing department said insert bulls#it"

Someone with real technical knowledge: "I use my phone, not masturbate over it, glad I didn't get a HaemorRoid phone."

Roid-Rager: I know everything about tech, coding, design, development, marketing, law and science, see I can quote things I looked up on youtube that I didn't really understand and I have never bothered to check the facts.

Normal person with taste: "that massive white phone covered in pleater looks ridiculous and tacky, are you from Billericay?" (Sniggers under breath "chav").

Roid-Rager: "shut up you don't even know insert flaky feature that has zero benefits and only works once out of ten attempts to use it."
by Andy Rubin April 16, 2014
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haemorRoid

haemorRoid. Pronounced like Haemorrhoid with an emphasis on the second R which is always a capital letter.

Refers to Android and Android users who know nothing but carry-on like they are Neo from the Matrix.

Having scrapped through the Microsoft Certification, They know how to install software using an installer, replace component parts in a computer, and say 'have you tried turning it off and on again?' (interchangeable with 'do you want to go large?").

They claim to be heavy-weight coders, but most contemporary 13 years have more knowledge than them.

They will claim that there chosen mobile OS is superior to all others, even though the reality is they either can not afford, or have never used the best alternative to HaemorRoid. Most statements start with 'I hate Apple'.
eg 'I hate Apple, what's the time?' or 'I hate Apple, do you want fries with that?'

They have dire dead end jobs where the best they can hope for is a promotion to help desk.

They believe everything that Google (better known as Screw-U-gle) and Shamesung tell them. Even when Screw-U-gle and Shamesung are caught lying, they still promote the lie as truth.

Are capable of time travel as they believe everything copied from Apple was on the HaemorRoid first.

They claim haemorRoid is more secure due to the fact the average user checks the source code, but after 2 years not one of them found the HeartBleed bug.

See: Mouth-breather/compulsive masturbator
Roid-Rager: "I hate Apple, Android was first at everything, Googles/Samsungs marketing department said insert bulls#it"

Someone with real technical knowledge: "I use my phone, not masturbate over it, glad I didn't get a HaemorRoid phone."

Roid-Rager: I know everything about tech, coding, design, development, marketing, law and science, see I can quote things I looked up on youtube that I didn't really understand and I have never bothered to check the facts.

Normal person with taste: "that massive white phone covered on pleater looks ridiculous and tacky, are you from Billericay?" Sniggers under breath "chav".

Roid-Rager: "shut up you don't even know insert flaky feature that has zero benefits and only works once out of ten attempts to use it."
by Andy Rubin April 16, 2014
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